


tell it like an old song

by outropeace



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Additional Warnings In Author's Note, Alpha Harry, Alpha Louis Tomlinson, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Amnesia, Bottom Louis, Breeding Kink, Comeplay, Jealousy, M/M, Memory Loss, Mpreg, Non-Traditional Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Possessive Behavior, Praise Kink, Scent Marking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-13
Updated: 2020-06-13
Packaged: 2021-03-04 05:15:48
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 26,675
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24688255
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/outropeace/pseuds/outropeace
Summary: “The thrumming of my blood is always calling your name.”or where Harry is a bit lost (just like his memories), his best friend is hiding something, the love of his life is gone and love... love is like flowers.
Relationships: Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson, Harry Styles/Original Female Character(s)
Comments: 89
Kudos: 768





	tell it like an old song

**Author's Note:**

> guess who wrote another abo fic??? i know this is not what you primarily wanted (or asked) but i promise if you’re patient with it and read it till the end, you might get what you ~need~. 
> 
> as always thanks to arely, lucia, lottie, nicole and lucia for just being there for me, you lot bright my day’s, always. also thanks to roya for helping me with the moodboard and cause she’s always lovely even tho she always rejects my hand.
> 
> NOW, LAST BUT NOT LEAST, i want to thank [ Lynda](https://wait4ever.tumblr.com/), the person who is in charge of fixing from small mistakes to entire plot holes, this fic wouldn’t be here or nearly as 𝒑𝒓𝒆𝒕𝒕𝒚 as it is if it wasn’t for her talented self! 
> 
> CW:  
> • There’s a light and very gracious mention of choking  
> • I am very aware there’s no frats in the UK but for this fic, let’s pretend there’s some, shall we?

_‘Gone’_ , that was the first thing that came to Harry’s mind after his doctor walked out his hospital room. Four years of his life gone just because someone else decided to play a live version of fucking Mario Kart without telling him. 

He heard his parents whisper that he was taking the news really well, Harry didn’t know how to tell them that nothing felt real, that he mostly was focusing on the pain of his body because his mind was still trying to find ways to cope and process the fact he lost several years of his life.

It felt big, Harry knew he should be taking things more seriously, because it _was_ serious, he knew it by the worried look on his parents and the stoic face of his doctor, he knew it by simple logic, it was big, it was serious, it was probably life changing, but part of Harry couldn’t help but think that hands down it was the most bizarre thing that had and probably will happen in his whole life.

It' wasn’t like Harry kept a _Top Most Bizarre Life_ Incidents list—and even if he did, that he _definitely_ didn’t, this was way too serious for that. But if… _if_ he did, this would easily be number one, way ahead of the time Louis, Niall and he did some mushrooms and collectively hallucinated street lights as big cowboys. Because let's be honest, not a lot of things can top waking up in a hospital bed with a few years of your life lost into the abyss of your psyche. 

Harry blinked rapidly at the sight of his best friend in front of him; his surroundings slowly filtering back. His head was throbbing and hands still shaking after his talk with his doctor. 

Louis looked tired. He had dark circles under his puffy blue eyes as if the whole time Harry slept was spent crying. He looked broken and lost, and for some odd reason, the image in front of him was just too much for him. He squeezed his eyes shut as his stomach clenched. Taking four deep breaths, heart pounding in his ears, Harry opened his eyes.

“So, they told me I went out for some groceries and the only thing I brought back with me was a mild head injury and some memory loss,” His voice sounded choked and a bit wavery as he watched a tear run down Louis’ cheek. 

From all the years he had known the alpha, he had never seen him quite like this. Louis was bright and full of warm smiles, imposing his presence everywhere they went. His body might be small, but Louis was bigger than life. Harry was praying to all the gods that this was only because of the situation, and not because something happened in between the years Harry lost that made him like this.

“Retrograde amnesia,” Louis replied, voice sounding a bit hollow.

That was the exact term his doctor used after several tests and CT scans. Harry thought it was all a big joke, that things like that only happened in sad movies or TV shows, but there he was laying on a bed: a huge bruise on his left shoulder, three broken ribs and a chunk of his life completely gone. His mom assured him nobody else got severely hurt in the crash, that the other person was taking all the responsibility, and that the only thing he should worry about was himself and his recovery. 

He took another deep breath and let out a small chuckle, “Like Venus when you get sad.” 

“Harry...”

“I think you might need a cuddle,” Harry winced at the croak of uncertainty in his voice. 

Louis tensed and Harry wanted to take that back. As far as he was aware, Louis still was his best friend, but the doctor said he had lost around four years of his life. 

What if he and Louis weren’t even close anymore? 

The mere idea of that made his heart ache. His alpha started to stir for the first time since he woke up because of it. He needed to calm down before doing or saying something stupid. 

“What I need…” Louis paused, eyes intensely looking at something behind Harry, “is you not fucking dying on me just for some chocolates, _mate_.” 

At the word “mate” two weird things happened inside Harry. The first one was that his alpha was fully awake, alert, and pleased by it. The second one was Harry’s lower parts also seemed a bit… alert by it too. 

Flashes of a scent flooded his brain and watered his mouth. It was a scent he knew well and adored— _her_ scent.

“What’s going on? Are you hurting? Do you want me to call the doctors?” A frantic Louis was almost on top of him, delicately touching his healing wounds.

 _Fuck._ Harry thought. He needed to get his shit together. He was not going to pop a boner in front of his best friend just cause he thought about the scent of the girl he liked. 

“Yeah, I— don’t worry, I’m just… getting adjusted to umm… everything?” 

Louis’ shoulders visibly relaxed and Harry’s alpha, noticing how nervous he was, did too.

“Of course, fuck, you must be so confused and scared.”

“The doctor said I should keep going with my life as usual,” Harry shrugged. “But I don’t know what that is, not anymore. What’s my favorite food? Where do I live? Where do I work? What’s my new normal?”

“And this is why he also told you that you should try to go to therapy,” Louis said with infinite calm in his voice. He had heard him use this exact same tone to his baby sisters every time they seemed distressed or sad. “Your favorite food is still Thai. You’re a successful and very respectable software engineer, you've been working for the same company for years, and your bosses love you. You also live in a beautiful house you will see soon. You’ll be able to learn the rest with time and patience.”

“Do we still live together?” Harry blurted the first question that came to his mind.

“We…” Louis trailed off. “Yeah, we do.”

Harry let out a deep breath. “Okay, good, that’s good.” 

Louis smiled softly. “Now, you need to recover soon so we can go back home.”

Harry puffed his chest as new energy filled his body. “I will,” he said with an intensity that startled him but made Louis’ smile broaden. “I _will,_ ” he repeated just to see how much bigger that smile could get. 

[☽]

Harry felt like he was struggling with his tie for an eternity. He could tell it was expensive just by touching it. Not only that, ever since Harry woke up, he had noticed that both alphas had no monetary problems. From their clothes to their furniture, and even cars; almost everything that they owned seemed ten times more expensive than the most “luxurious”—if you could even call them that—belongings he remembered.

Of all the changes, the ones that stood out the most for him were the lack of pictures on the walls, and how sterile and cold Louis’ room looked. Nothing like how comfortable and warm his dorm in the frat used to be; full of well-loved books, old movie posters, and different types of unique trinkets that screamed Louis. Bright and full of hard edges Louis, soft to the touch and brave Louis.

“What did that mean tie do to you?” Louis cooed with a fake pout, head resting on the doorframe.

“Aw man, I don’t know why you went to law school for three years, you could’ve been a great comedian.” 

Louis hummed, bare feet shuffling against the cold wooden floor of Harry’s dressing room until he was in front of him. “A lawyer can always multitask,” he said as he graciously and quickly fixed Harry’s tie. 

“Did you spoil me all these years? Did I never learn to tie a tie?”

Louis just hummed again before saying “I like this tie, it makes your eyes look greener.” 

Harry pushed back the lingering feeling that something wasn’t quite right about how Louis avoided a seemingly innocent question and focused on his steady hands around his neck. 

Within only a week of living with this new version of his best friend, he could already guess there were many things Louis wasn’t telling him. At first he thought he was only being careful and hyper-aware of every little thing that could affect Harry’s progress, but after the days passed, he realized something was just… a bit off. 

Lost in thought, he suddenly got distracted by the shape of Louis’ mouth. A memory of ripe wild berries and burnt caramel sauce scent hit him again. _Lisa’s_. Harry gulped and tried to steady his heart. “Hey, Lou…”

“Yeah…” Louis said noncommittal, eyes still fixed on Harry’s tie.

“Do you remember Lisa?”

“Ah,” Louis said as if he knew that question was coming, almost like he knew what Harry was feeling. “Yeah, I do remember her.” 

“Did something happen between her and me?” 

“I can’t really answer that, I was away for some time so, who knows,” he shrugged. Louis told Harry all about his internship abroad in one of the most important law firms in the states. He sounded proud and melancholic at the same time, and Harry asked himself if something—or someone— happened there that made him feel that way. “There, ready to conquer the world.” He said with a proud tone, hands on his hips. 

“My hero,” Harry deadpanned. “How did I survive without you in my life for a whole entire year.”

“I sometimes ask myself the same thing,” Louis said with a fake sigh, placing his hand on Harry’s shoulder. A sparkle of emotions ran through his body at the contact. 

“Shit,” Louis whispered at the same time his cellphone loudly rang. “I have to take this but you will do amazing today. Don’t be nervous, you will know what to do, you always know.” He said before kissing Harry’s cheek and answering his phone.

Harry ran his hand through his hair, eyes fixated where Louis left, cheek burning where he kissed him, chest rumbling with want and his mind as confused as the first day he stepped into his new life.

[☽]

The first thing he noticed when he entered his apartment was laughter and a lemon pie scent… an _omega’s_ scent. To be more exact, an _unbonded omega’s scent._

It was a bold thing to do, using your full, unfiltered scent. Usually, omegas and alphas used different types of suppressants that ranged from eliminating every single scent of your body —like Louis and sometimes Harry did— to neutralizers that just left your personal distinctive scent with no trace of your secondary gender. 

Just the idea of Louis being alone with an openly unbonded omega made Harry’s body tense for some weird reason.

“I just simply don’t know why Peppa Pig is such a bitch.”

The omega let out a delighted laugh. “Isn’t she like five?”

“Don’t care how old she is, she needs some manners— Harry, hi!” Louis said, completely forgetting about his companion. He looked soft and small, body swimming inside a huge peach colored jumper with an embroidered sleeping baby deer on the front and short mint colored shorts that showcased his long soft looking legs. “How was your first day of work? I didn’t expect you so soon!” 

“Clearly,” is all Harry says before turning to the omega stinking his house. “And who are _you_?” 

The omega seemed to be almost the same height and build as Louis. Delicate, yet with strong features. Harry never thought about what type of people Louis was interested in but he honest to God couldn’t find anything wrong about the omega in front of him, and that pissed him off the most.

“I’m Zayn, Louis’ best friend.” The omega forced a smile. ”You must be Harry.” 

“Best friend?” Harry frowned as Zayn arched a brown. 

“Guess what!” Louis said hurriedly, probably trying to distract Harry from the situation. “I found your ring!”

“My ring?” Harry asked confused but with his heart stumbling like a dancer offbeat.

“Yeah,” Louis said, handing him a simple gold ring in a golden chain. “The one you told me you wanted to give to your future mate.” 

And _fuck_ how could he _forget_ that ring. A ring that, since the moment Harry bought it, as cheap as it was, became one of his most precious possessions. It was a cheesy gesture but he guessed and hoped his future mate would find it at least endearing. 

Flashes of delicate fingers, shy smiles, wild berries, and an even stronger burnt sugar scent filled his mind. It was rich and had hints of maybe coffee and chocolate in it. 

_‘Now it belongs to me.’ Rosy lips said before kissing the ring._

Harry’s head went dizzy and he had to sit to process everything. The images and sounds in his head were never clear, but based on the scent, he was now almost sure he gave the ring to Lisa, and that they were together at some point, but what happened? 

Did they break up? Why wasn’t she with him or he living with her? Why did he never tell Louis, his best friend, about her? 

“Are you okay?” Louis asked cautiously. 

“Did I really never tell you about me and Lisa?” 

“Who the fuck is Lisa?” Zayn asked, his tone sounding a bit pissed off if Harry wasn’t mistaken.

“Louis...” 

The smaller alpha sighed. “No, Harry. I just know what you told me back in college. That you were ready to give her all she asked and some other sappy shit. When I came back you only told me that you guys talked just a few times and that was it. But then again, I was away for a long time so...”

“It was only a year, it isn’t that much time,” A sense of deja vu hit him as soon he said those words. 

Did they have this conversation before? 

“Well,” Louis said with a harsh tone, “It was enough I guess.” He probably must’ve noticed how startled Harry was by his tone because his next words were softer. “Look, if you want to know what happened between you and her, I think the best and more mature solution is if you talk _to_ her.” 

“Lou…” Harry could hear the worry in Zayn’s voice but couldn’t understand the reason behind it.

“You think?” The alpha asked, looking at Louis expectantly. 

Louis shrugged again. Harry noticed Louis was shrugging a lot lately. “Reckon it’s your best option right now.” 

“Yeah… you’re right…” He said not sounding convinced at all. “I’ll do that.”   
  


[☽]  
  


It wasn’t like Harry was afraid of what he could find about her, of how much it would probably hurt if she was married or had pups with another person. Harry was afraid to find out if he hurt her in any way, if he gave her the ring and she accepted it, it meant she also wanted Harry, so what if Harry fucked up the best thing of his life and he didn’t even know about it?

How do you fix your own mistakes when you don’t even remember them? 

He quickly decided to create a brand new Facebook because for some reason his old one was deactivated, most probably by him. The same thing happened with his Instagram and other social media accounts, and he wondered if his break up with the omega had anything to do with that. 

After adding Louis, his mom, sister and some other friends, he decided it was time to face the music. After just a few minutes of searching, he had found her. And there she was in front of him; honey eyes, freckled face, and auburn hair, Lisa. 

She was pretty, there was no doubt of that, but the thing that made Harry know she was _it_ for him was her scent. He could scent her for hours without getting tired of it. She had the sweetest, most addictive smell. It was like coming home from a long day; _that scent_ was home. 

‘ _Fuck, baby, I don’t want you to ever use suppressants, I want you to smell like you and me for the rest of our lives.’_

Giggles and glimpses of pink and blue resonated in Harry’s head. His heart ached for that scent, for that giggle. 

“Did you call me?” Harry’s brain went blank for a moment after seeing Louis with a pair of soft short shorts, baby pink crop top, face mask on his face, and a bunny ears headband on his hair. 

Harry might have forgotten a few years of his life but he was almost sure he had never been so enamoured by anyone’s tummy before.

Blinking out of his daze, Harry dumbly asked, “Since when do you wear crop tops?” 

“Isn’t it pretty?” Louis twirled for him and Harry got a bit dizzy at the sigh of Louis’ round ass, thinking about— “Zayn gave it to me.”

All the nice and fuzzy feelings Harry was experiencing crashed down at the name of the omega. “Since when does he give you stuff?”

“Dunno,” Louis said, shuffling from one foot to another. “You also give me stuff all the time.”

“Yeah but it’s… _different_.” 

Louis tilted his head. In that way, he almost looked innocent, submissive. Harry’s alpha was going insane inside him. “Different how?” 

“Well…” And Harry didn’t know how to reply to that, because there wasn’t anything relatively smart to say. Harry did buy stuff for Louis all the time, even the day prior when he went out, he had seen a stuffed cloud and bought it for Louis, so why was it different if a very much open and very much unbonded omega gave him a crop top? 

Louis, probably noticing his inner turmoil, decided to save him from the humiliation, rolled his eyes and said, “Why did you call me?”

Harry frowned. “I didn’t?” 

“Uh… yeah you did? You got all alpha-y and grumped out my name. I thought you found out I ate all your chocolate cake.” 

“All of it? Louis that was a lot of cake, you’re going to hurt your stomach.” 

“I’m fine! Look, I’m pampering myself so if it hurts, at least I’m going to feel pretty about it.” 

Harry’s heart was a pile of goo for the boy in front of him. “That doesn’t make any sense. I’m gonna check if we have something for indigestion here.” 

“But I hate the taste of it.” Louis pouted as Harry got up and softly placed a big hand on Louis’ naked back, directing them both to the kitchen.

Harry felt the boy shudder under his touch. “You know, if you’re cold, you should use a jumper instead of a crop top. You can use one of mine if you want.” 

Louis bit his lip, still following Harry to the kitchen. “Oh... okay, yeah that—that’d be really nice. I’m very cold now, yeah.” 

“Okay, but first, you're gonna have to drink this,” Harry said, shaking the bottle of herbal medicine. Louis pouted again. “Come on, _baby_.” He knew his tone was soft, softer than it was supposed to be between friends. It sounded intimate.

Louis' eyes widened but he did what he was told. Harry’s alpha preened at that. 

“Fuck that tasted nasty.” Louis shuddered again as Harry rubbed circles on his back. “Now where’s that jumper you promised?”

Harry, without thinking much, took off the one he was wearing and handed it to an open-mouthed Louis. “This one is already warm,” he said, as though it was the most normal and logical thing to do. 

“Aren’t you cold now?”

Harry puffed his naked chest. “I’m an alpha, I don’t get cold too easily.”

Louis snorted. “And what am I?"

“You are a very small alpha who gets cold way too easily. I might forget my name but I wouldn’t forget that,” he said, winking at a blushing Louis. 

He loved to do that. Even on his worst days, if there was something that could put him in a good mood again it was making Louis blush for the silliest of things. 

“Whatever,” Louis rolled his eyes playfully and shoved his chest lightly. Harry grabbed his hand. “Anyway, did you talk to Lisa?.”

 _Fuck_ , Lisa…

“Uh… yeah, I sent her a message. I’m still waiting for a reply.”

Louis hummed as he let Harry’s hand go. “Do you want to watch a movie?”

“Are you going to make me watch something weird and deep that will probably leave me thinking about every single decision I’ve made in my life?” Harry arched a brow, already following Louis to their living room.

“You know it,” Louis said. Harry’s gaze never left Louis' swaying hips.

At that moment Harry felt like he could follow Louis to the end of the world if he asked him to.

  
[☽]

Lisa was as charming as he remembered, their talk was brief and to the point. She knew about Harry’s accident but couldn’t reach out to him because by the time she found out, all his social media was gone and his phone sent her to voicemail. 

They planned to meet and talk about everything on the weekend and Harry felt giddy just thinking of being surrounded by her scent again. 

A huge smile spread on his face as he entered his home. Things were far from perfect but they weren’t bad at all. He got used to his new position in his job in less time than he expected, his doctor later explained to him that it was because, while a person with retrograde amnesia could forget memories or people, they don’t forget their skills. His co-workers were understanding and patient enough to re-introduce themselves without causing any type of fuzz. His friends were cautious and gave Harry enough space not to overwhelm him. His mom was sending him care packages every week and Louis… _god_ , Louis. Harry’s alpha was oddly wired to him, he grunted, purred, and preened at Louis’ every need.

At first, he didn’t pay much attention to it because they’ve always been close. Since the day they met, they clicked. They understood each other, sometimes without even words. Harry’s alpha never felt threatened or disgruntled by Louis’, not even in his most intense ruts. Louis and his alpha had always brought him calmness and good feelings. His mom told him their connection was special, and that he should cherish his friendship because people that made you feel like Louis did, were one in a million. 

Although, he could tell this was different. Harry had urges. He wanted to fulfill Louis’ needs like an alpha would do to their mates. Almost like his alpha was trying to prove how good he could be as _his_. Louis thankfully didn’t notice or maybe he was sparing Harry the humiliation because he never called him out every time he brought Louis’ favorite flowers, fed him, or called him ridiculous pet names. 

He guessed his alpha reacted so strongly to Louis because, well… Louis was an attractive person, at a right age to procreate and the primal instincts to dominate and demonstrate who is the dominant alpha sometimes showed in weird ways. Some people even said there wasn’t a bigger high than to see an alpha submit for and to you. Harry never cared about that stuff. To him, Louis was so much more than his secondary designation, he was his best friend, the first person he wanted to call when good stuff happened to him and the person he wanted to listen to at the end of it. However, he couldn’t deny there was a rush every time Louis let Harry provide him with food or gifts until his friend was purring with contentment. But Harry was starting to doubt it had anything to do with Louis’ secondary gender.

All in all, things were far from bad.

Sure, he had a huge chunk of his life erased from him, but there were glimpses of things, voices, and words engraved in his mind. Both his therapist and doctor told him it was a great sign of progress.

It made him hope.

He lightly touched the frame of a picture he put in his living room, the first one after his accident. Louis insisted it should be a different one, but Harry couldn’t imagine any other picture being better than the one with Louis and his mouth stained with buttercream from the cupcakes Harry made him for decorating their house. 

Smiling at the memory, he decided to make some more, maybe some salted caramel ones. He knew it wasn’t the real deal—not even close to it—but couldn’t help how right the house smelt after he finished baking them, even more when he added a shot of espresso to the mix.

Before going to the kitchen, he noticed Louis was sleeping on one of their couches. He looked peaceful and calm, a new smile sprouting onto his lips at the sight. Without thinking much about what he was doing, he came close to the small alpha, hand caressing one of his cheeks. 

Louis leaned into his hand, nose softly nuzzling his palm. “ _Alpha_ , you’re home,” he said before his mouth left a small kiss there.

Harry swallowed heavily, letting out a gasp of breath when he felt Louis’ wet tongue flickering over the same spot where he kissed before. Harry’s eyes widened both for Louis‘ actions and the guttural growl that escaped from his own chest seconds after he heard Louis calling him alpha; desperate to hear it again. 

“What happened?” Louis said, startled and wide awake. 

Harry’s mind tried to recover quickly, realizing what he just did and what he wanted to do to his _very alpha_ best friend. 

“Harry?” Louis sounded a bit more worried. “What’s going on?”

“Nothing I…” _‘You just called me alpha and I wanted to claim you right here and now.’_ “I was about to make some cupcakes, do you want some?”

“Uh… yeah!” He said hurriedly, a bright smile adorning his face. “Just, let me take a shower real quick and I’ll help you with anything you need.”

“Perfect, I’ll leave you all the dry ingredients,” Harry smirked at Louis.

“Anything but _that…”_ Louis said with a pointed look.

“Alright, but hurry because I’m making salted caramel ones and I’ll need help with the caramel sauce.” 

“Oh…” Louis frowned slightly, gaze sweeping across Harry’s face before looking down at his hands. “Again?” 

Harry, feeling a bit self-conscious, stood up abruptly, and the living room suddenly began feeling a bit small. “Yeah…” he gulped, “are you bored with them? I can make another flavor if you want…”

“No, not at all, I just… this is the fifth time you’ve made them in like a month.” 

“Well it’s just…” Harry tried to come up with a less embarrassing reply than ‘ _that’s the smell of the omega I like that supposedly I have only talked to like 4 times in my entire life.’_ “I just like the smell after we make them.” 

Louis hummed as a soft smile appeared on his face. “Alright then, let’s make some dumb salted caramel cupcakes.” 

“But first your shower.”

Louis giggled and a small itch crawled beneath Harry’s skin. ”First, my shower.”

[☽]

Harry found with time that he had a great support system, and by a great support system, he meant a group of barely useful friends who avoided almost every single one of his questions. 

The closest thing he had had to a sincere conversation without bullshitting around was with Mitch, but Harry suspected it was most probably because they had just become friends for around a few months before his accident. 

Ten and a half to be more exact, or that’s what Mitch said the first time he went to visit him in the hospital. It took Harry less than half an hour to understand why they became friends. 

But this wasn’t about Mitch, it was about his barely useful friends. The ones who knew him for years and years and weren’t telling him things straight. The ones as soon as Harry asked certain questions they all clammed up; the ones like Liam Payne. The same Liam Payne he was trying to talk and vent to but wasn’t much of a help.

“But have you done that before?”

“Harry… what do you want me to tell you?” Liam huffed exasperatedly on the other side of the line.

“The truth!” Harry half hissed, half yelled. “have you called another alpha that?”

“No, but my subordinates have done it.”

“Your alpha subordinates?”

“Yes, Harry, my alpha subordinates.” Harry could feel Liam rolling his eyes at him. 

“But Louis isn’t my subordinate. He’s my roommate, my best friend, we’re equals.”

“Are you implying omegas and betas aren’t our equals?” Liam asked with an icy tone.

It was Harry’s turn to roll his eyes. “You _know_ that’s not what I meant. I was talking about work.”

“Are you sure about that? Because I think you’re making a big deal out of relatively nothing. Would you have called me if this was an omega or a beta calling you that?”

“I’d call you if it was Louis the one calling me that. No matter his secondary gender.”

The line went quiet for a few beats, before Harry could hear Liam sigh. “Look, I feel you’re focusing a bit too much on this and the doctors told you, you shouldn’t stress too much—”

“I’m not stressed! I just—”

“—so why not, instead of this, you focus on going to your therapy sessions, doing your exercises, and taking your meds. How’s that shoulder doing?”

“ _Fine,_ ” Harry huffed. “The shoulder is doing _amazing_.”

“Great! Now, we’re going out this weekend. I was going to text Louis later about it, but here you are. So, what do you think?”

“I have a date,” Harry said petulantly.

“Do you, now? With whom if I may ask.”

“No you may not,” Harry snapped. “Ugh fine, it’s Lisa.”

The line went quiet again. 

“Lisa as in… college Lisa?” Liam’s voice sounded guarded. 

“Yes? What about it?”

“No, nothing…” Liam trailed off. “Is just that, it’s been a long time since you talked about her.” 

“How long?”

“Long enough. Does Louis know?”

Harry chuckled but his eyebrows furrowed slightly. “I mean, he was the one encouraging me to talk to her.”

“Oh… well if that’s the case—”

“What do you mean ‘ _if that’s the case’_?” Harry interrupted him abruptly. “Do you really think I’m that incapable of making my own choices?”

“No, not at all,” Liam sighed. “Look, you’re clearly very defensive right now, and I need to get back to work on this project so, tell Louis about this weekend, alright?” 

“Okay,” Harry mumbled.

“Love you, mate. Good luck with Lis.” He said before hanging up.

Harry felt weird right after the line went dead.

He usually felt that way every time he wanted to dig more about the past four years with any of his friends, but that call made him feel even warier. 

“Ready to bake?” Louis said with a bright smile before furrowing his brows. “You don’t have anything ready. Are you alright?”

“Yeah, yes. Liam just called me and I got a bit distracted.” 

“Oh, what did he want?”

“He asked if we were going out with him this weekend.”

“Are you feeling alright to go clubbing?”

Harry huffed at Louis’ worried tone. “You know I’m a grown man, capable of handling over 30 people at work, right? You don’t have to overprotect me.”

Louis looked slightly hurt. “No, yeah, I know but…” he mumbled, shook his head and started again. “I’m just worried, okay?” he said, crossing his arms, voice getting high. ”It’s not like I’m doing this on purpose, you were the one who went out there and got himself _Eternal Sunshined.”_

“Eternal Su—” Harry let out a loud laugh. 

“ _What_? What’s so funny, you smartass.”

“You did not just use the term Eternal Sunshined in a serious conversation and expect me to not laugh!”

Louis snorted as he pushed Harry lightly. “Shut up, you big oaf. This is what I get for worrying about you.”

“You don’t have anything to worry about,” Harry said, grabbing Louis’ wrist and pulling him into a hug. “Besides...” he nuzzled his nose into Louis’ clean hair, smelling Harry’s shampoo on him. He always wondered about Louis’ scent, how good it probably was, how’d it change after a good night of—

“Besides what?” Louis chuckled, arms wrapped around Harry’s waist, a smile hidden in his chest.

“Oh yeah,” Harry said, shaking his head. “I’m not going out with you guys. I have a date with Lisa this weekend.”

Harry felt Louis stiffened a bit in his arms. “Oh that’s great, H. Hope you get the answers you are looking for.” 

Harry hummed. “I just want to see her, miss her scent,” Without thinking and most probably out of instinct he sniffed Louis’ temple, pulling him close to his body. 

Harry felt Louis grab his shirt and make a fist with it, then he let Harry go completely. 

“Well, good thing you won’t have to miss her very long.” Louis smiled brightly at him and Harry’s stomach did a somersault. “Now, let’s make some cupcakes.”

Harry’s heart felt so happy and warm in the middle of his kitchen with his favorite person in the world, surrounded by his favorite smell, that he almost didn’t notice Liam called Lisa ‘Lis’.

[☽]

The thing about recoveries was that some weeks passed as fast as a blink of an eye, filled with progress, learning new things and a bit of hope. And some others… some others just felt endless. 

That particular week felt like the latter, slow and tedious, leaving Harry restless and snapping at all the people who dared cross paths with him. The worst part was that almost all of them, instead of calling him out on his bullshit, they just gave him a pitying look and were annoyingly understanding.

Harry’s mind was a mess and so was he. He needed answers to his ever-growing questions but no one was being clear with him. His doctor told him it was for his own good, so the information of his lost years wouldn’t overwhelm him, that he was going to get his answers at the right times— in less invasive ways, and in a safe and supervised environment. 

Harry was completely on board with that strategy until nightmares began to flood his mind. Just one to be exact. It always started very simple, with him in a cold room and in front of him was Louis holding a heart made of glass. One minute his friend was okay and the other the glass was completely shattered and Louis couldn’t stop crying. Harry always tried to get close to him but never could reach Louis. He looked at the boy with blurry eyes filled with tears as Louis repeated over and over again _“I can’t fix it. It’s broken and I can’t fix it.”_

His therapist asked him why he considered that nightmare so awful. 

_“Was it because of the shattered heart?”_

The answer was no because even in his dream, Harry could see the clean cuts in it, so he was aware it could be fixed. Somehow, he also was aware that Louis thought that heart belonged to him and that’s why he was so upset about it, but that wasn’t Harry’s heart, not at all. Harry didn’t hurt because the glass heart was broken, but because Louis was hurting and he didn’t know how to fix _him_.

There was nothing he could do to stop Louis’ pain, and it felt like an icy wind freezing the little air that could reach his lungs. It felt raw and real, his heart constricting inside his chest, feeling as fragile as the glass one in front of him. Making him doubt, making him think _‘what if…’_

His therapist called it progress, but he called it torture. He suddenly wasn’t so on board with their _‘day by day’_ plan. He needed _all_ his answers as _soon_ as possible.

But then again, nobody gave a shit about what Harry really wanted or needed.

“Do you know why I deactivated all my accounts?” Harry asked looking intensely at Louis.

They were trying to “relax” watching some documentary about a cult or something that Harry wasn’t really paying much attention to. Part of him knew he should listen to Louis and try to, well, relax but he was tired of half-answers, he just needed some truths.

Louis pursed his lips, “I’m pretty sure the one who did that was your mom, not you.” 

Harry blinked. “My mom…”

“Yeah I think she was following your doctor’s instructions. Not to overwhelm you with a bunch of information and all that.”

Harry felt his stomach sink, rage flooding his bloodstream. “You know how _invasive_ that is? It doesn’t matter who told her what. My private stuff is _mine_. How the hell does she even know my password?” 

Louis' calm expression turned stormy. “Okay, I’m gonna stop you right there,” He said as he pointed at Harry—which... _rude._ “You _cannot_ blame your mom for what she did in a _very_ stressful,” he held his thumb up, “ _very_ rare situation.” He held his pointer finger to then make a gun with his hand that also pointed at Harry—which again, _rude_ . “She only did what she was told. Did she maybe take a step a bit further? Probably, but that doesn’t mean she was trying to invade your privacy. And honestly dude? You don’t have to be Mr. Robot to guess kittens1234 is _still_ your password for almost everything—which in all honesty? You’re a software engineer _, do better—and_ when your mother and I are the ones telling _you_ that you need to change it...” He then made a small _‘pow_ ’ sound, simulating a gun firing.

He just shot Harry.

“Well… it’s still fucked up.”

“Maybe so,” Louis shrugged. “I’m not saying you don’t have the right to be mad at the situation, just don’t be mad at your mom.”

“I’m sorry, I’m just…. I feel stuck, it’s been months, and I just see blurry glimpses and flashes of scents. They told me I was going to get better but what if I never recover my memories? What if…”

Louis’ eyes softened. One minute he was on one side of the couch and the other his hands were on Harry’s face, forcing their eyes to meet. “Listen,” Louis said as he held him tenderly. “I’m not going to tell you to not feel sad or to not cry, you should feel whatever you need to feel. I can only imagine how frustrated and scared you must be, but I’m gonna tell you something. You will be loved and supported no matter what happens.” 

He said those words with so much conviction that to Harry’s mind there was no doubt what Louis was saying was simply the truth. He felt a tear rolling down his cheek.

“Sometimes life is a bit messed up, but you’re so strong, love. So strong and so loved.”

Harry couldn’t hold himself anymore and did what his alpha was begging him to do since the moment Louis touched him. He pulled the boy on top of his lap. He only hoped Louis’ alpha wouldn't react too badly to the other alpha manhandling him.

To his surprise the first thing he did after Harry placed him on his lap was wrap his arms around Harry’s shoulders, burying his face around his neck.

“We’ll be okay,” Harry whispered against Louis’ temple. Hand running soothingly up and down his back. 

Louis let out a wet chuckle. “Why are you the one reassuring me now?”

Harry sniffled, smile flourishing against Louis’ hair. “I’m amazing like that.” 

Louis untangled his arms and gave Harry’s shoulder a light shove. 

“But I mean it,” Harry said looking at Louis. “I’m aware that my progress, compared to a lot of other cases, is actually really good. That my mom and all of you are trying your best. I know how lucky I am, I swear.” 

They were so close he could see each and every shade of green and blue inside Louis’ eyes. The exact shade of pink his soft lips were and how the light of the afternoon made his skin look like sweet honey, ready to eat. 

It was all a bit overwhelming. He had to break eye contact with the boy, hands falling limp to his sides. “I’m probably like this because of my date with Lisa tonight. You know how I get with her.”

“Today is the day, huh?” Louis said with a sweet smile and Harry’s alpha went a bit crazy at the sight. 

“Oh yeah, yes. Today, yeah.” 

“You don’t have to be nervous, she’ll adore you in matters of seconds, no matter how long has passed.”

Harry went quiet for a few seconds, unsure if he should say what was on his mind since days ago. 

“I’m pretty sure I dated her in the year you went away. That wasn’t just a few dates like I told you. It was bigger,” He whispered to Louis. “There’s glimpses and it’s all her, _us_ , and we were together. I know it’s her.” There was no doubt in Harry’s heart of that. Lisa’s scent was in all his memories, strong, pliant, _Harry’s_. 

Louis' soft smile dropped. “Oh… you—you never told me you guys were that serious.”

“That’s the weirdest part, I don’t get why I could’ve done that, but I think that’s probably the main reason why we broke up. Me not telling any of you about her, but in my memories… my alpha always feels so possessive about her scent. It doesn’t make sense.” 

After his rant, Harry focused on Louis’ face again, noticing how pale his friend looked, brows furrowed and tight lips forming a thin line. Startled, he also realized that mid-rant his hands flew onto Louis’ hips and were gripping him hard on top of his soft shirt. 

“Fuck, I’m so sorry, I just, I don’t know what’s going on with me.”

“What?” Louis’ frown deepened, eyes finally looking at Harry again, as though he hadn’t realized what Harry was doing too. 

“I‘m—”

“Hey, umm, I need to check some stuff for tonight,” Louis said, cutting Harry off before getting up his lap. 

“What? Tonight? What happens tonight?”

Harry saw Louis clench his jaw. “I’m going out with Liam and some friends. I know you have your own stuff and you’re fully focused on that, but that doesn’t mean every time you go out I have to stay here like a good 60s housewife waiting for your return.” 

“I would never think that, I know you are a very independent person that likes to go out and we aren’t like that, we aren’t—” Harry felt his mind begin to spiral. “We aren’t… A couple, I mean. I know we would never...” The statement felt weak to his ears but he couldn’t let Louis know what his alpha was feeling about him. Not when he was just talking about the omega he was about to go on a _date_ with.

“Yes, you made that _very_ clear,” Louis said with a clipped tone. ”Now if you’ll excuse me, I really have to get ready.” 

Louis was gone before he could form any coherent reply.

[☽]

  
  


Harry wasn't really surprised when only an hour after his talk with Louis, Zayn had stomped into the house and back to Louis' room. 

He knew he shouldn’t knock, every single fiber of his body was telling him to give Louis time with his friend. But something didn’t sit quite right after how they left things that afternoon. 

Maybe it was the clenched fists, maybe the slam of his door, maybe it was his eyes, but Harry knew Louis was beyond pissed at him. He just needed a few minutes to clarify to him again that Harry didn’t see him as his mate because, for some reason, he felt as if Louis got even madder when Harry mentioned them as a couple. 

Harry was man enough to accept the fact that Louis’ aversion to the idea of them as a couple hurt him, _a lot,_ but it was logical. Louis was an alpha that could manage entire rooms and make the scariest of the alphas feel like frightened puppies. Then, there was Harry, making him feel like a submissive mate. 

_Harry’s_ submissive mate. 

Which, again, wasn’t what Harry’s alpha wanted for them. He didn’t want Louis to stay at home waiting for him, he wanted Louis with him, impressing his peers with his quick wit and charming aura. He wanted Louis under him, strong and bold, yet letting Harry do whatever he pleased.

Harry grimaced and took a step back from Louis’ door. 

_What the fuck was that? Why the fuck was he fantasizing about his best friend? Was his alpha having a crisis? Was Harry having it too?_

He knew he should leave, that staying there was truly a bad idea, but he was leaving in less than 10 minutes and he was stubborn and at least wanted to say goodbye to his best friend. 

After one single knock the door yanked open, showing a shirtless Zayn in front of him. 

“What do you want? You’re _reeking_ the entire place.” Zayn said with a harsh tone.

Harry sometimes forgot after his accident he had to stop using suppressants by his doctor’s order and that he now had to re-learn to control his scent.

“I’m so sorry, I—” Harry said, struggling to finish his sentence when his eyes landed on an also shirtless Louis with half-buttoned pants and blown out pupils. Harry tensed as he bit a growl back. “What’s going on here?”

“What do you think was happening?” Zayn said, venom dripping in every single one of his words. “I’m a _very_ horny omega and he's a _very_ virile alpha ready to give me his knot.” 

The rational part of Harry understood he was being sarcastic, that he was calling him out for assuming something as stupid and stereotypical as that, but people didn’t call alphas knotheads only for the laughs.

Harry opened his mouth to say something probably very stupid but was saved by Louis’ stern voice. “We were changing to go out. Why did you knock?”

Louis’ whole demeanor made Harry freeze. Shame filling his body, he mumbled, “I just wanted to say goodbye, I’m going to see Lisa.”

“Oh” 

“Yeah…”

Something deep within Harry was rumbling. He felt desperate but couldn’t pinpoint what it was. 

_‘Ask me to stay. Please ask me to stay.’_

“Well, good luck.” Louis said as his trademark smile bloomed on his face again.

Was it Harry’s idea or did it look a bit forced?

Harry’s heart wanted to cry, and suddenly the last thing he wanted to do was to see Lisa or any type of human. He asked himself what would happen if he was the one asking Louis to stay.

“Thanks. See you tomorrow,” was what he said instead.

[☽]

Lisa was lovely in all senses. Harry knew it from the first time he saw her far away chatting up with an old lady on the street, putting all her attention on each word the lady was saying. She was lovely. 

“Long time no see, Styles,” she said as soon as she spotted him. Bright eyes and gentle smile.

Harry couldn’t help but hug her. “I missed you so much,” he said, trying very hard not to scent her. 

“Really?” Lisa said chuckling against his neck as she held him tighter. She was much taller than Harry thought she was. “I’m a bit surprised by that information, not going to lie.”

Harry frowned, pulling away a bit. “Why?”

Lisa furrowed her brows in confusion before realization hit her. “Oh shit, your accident, _fuck,_ I forgot you didn’t remember!”

Harry wrinkled his nose, “Isn’t that ironic?” he said smiling.

Lisa’s eyebrows furrowed again. “What?”

Harry chuckled awkwardly. “Well, you forgetting that I can’t remember.”

“Oh…” Lisa looked a bit uncomfortable by Harry’s attempt at a joke, but still smiled. 

“We don’t have to talk about our past,” Harry tried to say hurriedly, one last attempt to save the conversation. “Actually, my doctor would recommend that we touch those subjects as slowly as possible.”

“Yeah, I talked with Liam a few days ago about it.” 

“Are you friends with Liam?”

“Uh yeah? We work for the same company. _Fuck_ , was I not supposed to say that?”

Harry laughed. “Nah, all new information is fair.”

“Well… I don’t know how new this is since I’ve been working with him since a year ago now.”

Harry shrugged. “Anything that has happened between four years ago and now is new to me.”

Lisa’s brow furrowed before letting out a big sigh. “Well, I think there’s only one way to make this a bit less awkward,” she said before turning her back to Harry and beginning to walk away. 

For a few seconds Harry thought ‘ _this is it, I blew my last chance with her,’_ but then, Lisa adjusted her jacket, and faced him again. “Hi, I don’t know if you remember me but, I’m Lisa Davis. We had an economics class together, and I had a fat crush on you and I think it was maybe mutual.”

Harry's smile felt immense. “Hi Lisa, I’m Harry and you’re very correct about the fat crush being maybe _very_ mutual.” 

That night, he only thought about Louis around five times. 

  
  


[☽]

  
  


Lisa had no scent. That was the second thing that came to Harry’s mind the morning after his date with her. His first thought being _‘when did Louis get home last night?’_

Masking scents was a very common thing. Omegas around the world did it to have fair and better treatment in workplaces and in general. Meanwhile, alphas did it in support of other omegas. If you couldn’t pick which smell was which, you should treat them equally. It worked, and Harry used suppressants all the time for that exact reason.

That didn’t change the small sting of disappointment when at the end of the night, after she scented him, he dared to do it back— only to find nothing but traces of nice perfume.

He knew he should swallow that disappointment and bask in the feeling of Lisa giving him another chance to start anew. Scent or not, he was going to get his girl back.

But first, he had to fix things with his best friend, starting with a greasy breakfast to cure the hangover he probably was sporting.

The sight that welcomed him in his kitchen made his body go still and his blood run cold.

Louis was wearing nothing but small-tight boxers and one of Harry’s worn out white t-shirts. His hair was rumpled and he seemed to be sporting a trail of hickeys around the back of his neck. An inexplicable hot wave of jealousy rolled over him. 

He must have made a sound because before he could take another step close to Louis, the alpha faced Harry unaware of what he was doing to him.

“Hullo,” Louis mumbled with tired eyes, holding a cup of coffee.

It was when it hit him. It was a particular smell that was all over Louis’ body. An _alpha’s scent._ A scent that deep down he knew didn’t belong to Louis, but to another person, another _alpha_ . Louis let an alpha _mark_ him and Harry’s alpha was lashing out inside of him because of that. 

Louis’ eyes bulged. “Easy there Mr. Growls. Everything okay?”

“You smell like alpha.” 

Louis rolled his eyes. “I sure hope I smell like an alpha. I don’t know if you remember but I _am_ one…”

“No. You don’t smell like you. You smell like another alpha. This is not you, this— this is not you, this is _not_ your scent.” 

“How do you know if this isn’t my scent?” Louis narrowed his eyes. ”As far as I remember, up until a year ago, I had always used suppressants religiously. I only stopped taking them when—“ Louis shut his mouth abruptly.

“ _What_? When did you stop?”

“It doesn’t matter. Thing is, you wouldn’t know if that’s my scent or not.” 

“But I _know_ , I don’t know how, but Louis, I know.” Harry said with conviction as his hand touched one of Louis’ hickeys.

“Don’t,” The boy in front of him almost snarled, strong hand holding his wrist.

“Why?” Harry whispered. He didn’t know what he was asking 

W _hy are you so mad? Why did you let them mark you?_

“I need to get over someone,” Louis sounded defeated as he said those words. “Look, we can talk later about Lisa or anything you want but right now I just want to go to bed, alright?” He patted Harry’s shoulder and started to walk away. 

The drumbeat of his heart felt wild inside Harry’s throat. “Who do you want to get over?”

Without looking back and only stopping his steps for a few seconds, Louis replied. “My alpha.”

That same day Harry decided to throw away all his suppressants. 

[☽]

  
  


So, Louis had an alpha that Harry wasn’t aware of. An alpha he still was apparently in love with. An alpha that he wanted to get over. 

Where did he meet them? What if he came back for Louis…

A wisp of dread spun inside Harry’s chest. He couldn’t stay for more than a minute inside their house. His mind was too full of questions he felt like he couldn’t explain. 

“How bad was the fight with Louis?” Mitch rubbed his eye as he let Harry into his apartment.

“There was no fight.” 

“Of course there was a fight, otherwise you wouldn’t be here sulking like a sad, rejected pup.”

“I’m not sulking.”

“You _so_ are.” Mitch sniggered as he sat on his big couch. “ Anyways, what’s up?”

“Louis has an alpha. Well, _had_ an alpha.”

Mitch whistled. “A fit one?”

“Mitch. That’s not the point.”

“Says _you.”_

“Are you not listening to what I’m telling you? Louis Tomlinson, my best friend, had an _alpha_.”

Mitch covered his mouth with two hands. “Oh no, that’s so many knots, what in the world should we do? _Poor_ humanity, how must we go on after Louis Tomlinson fucks an alpha.” 

“He’s _not_ fucking anyone.” Harry growled. 

“Oh… _Oh…”_ Mitch smirked at Harry. “I’m pretty sure this is the part where you tell me you’re _in love_ with him and we talk about how much you’re pining and how can you get your pretty alpha.” He wiggled his brows. 

“ _What the fuck_ ? He’s my best friend, I’m not _in love_ with him…” Harry protested, body slumping down Mitch’s couch. “My alpha maybe is _in like_ , but neither of us are _in love.”_

Mitch cackled. “I don’t think that’s even a thing, but whatever. I’m just saying what I’m seeing.”

“Even if you were right… He’s an alpha, and he would never be attracted to me.”

“I think you skipped the whole part of the conversation where you explained to me _he is in love with an alpha...”_

“It’s different.” 

“You like him, he likes alphas, and you’re an alpha, maybe a dumb one, but still an alpha.”

“Yes, an alpha who wants to mark and breed hi—”

“Whoa whoa whoa,” Mitch said, hands covering his eyes. “ _way_ too much information, pal.”

“That’s the whole problem though. He probably is in love with a very docile and submissive alpha who is perfect in every fucking way while I’m here having all these stupid caveman’s thoughts.” 

“Have you told him any of this?” Mitch asked, hands still covering his eyes.

“Told him what? That my alpha wants to have babies with him? No, Mitch, we haven’t had that talk.”

“Maybe don’t say that, maybe just start with that _you,_ Harry, like _him_ . Throw that whole alpha bullshit away. _You’re_ attracted to him. _You_ want to probably marry him and start a family, it’s not only your alpha. Stop playing dumb.”

“There’s also Lisa,” Harry mumbled as he chewed his thumbnail.

“Who’s Lisa?” Mitch asked, finally uncovering his eyes. 

“The girl I’m seeing.”

Mitch began to rub his fingers against his temple.“I’m _very_ confused now.”

“Remember that first week at the hospital that I told you I could smell the scent of my mate? Nothing more than just the scent of berries and caramel?” Mitch nodded. “It was Lisa’s scent. I remember from uni, and since a few weeks ago I can actually see glimpses of us. Well, her scent… recent ones. I’m almost sure we were in love, at least I was.”

“Oh shit, it’s _her?”_ Mitch slumped further into the couch. “ _Fuck_ , you never told me.”

“Apparently I didn’t tell anyone.”

“ _Fuck me…”_ Mitch scratched his chin. ”What are you going to do then?”

“I don’t fucking know?” Harry throwing his arms out. ”I mean, I should know, right? No, _I_ _know_. The logical thing is to stay with Lisa, the person I’ve been dreaming of my whole adult life, _apparently_ , and the person I was in love with, and just leave my best friend—who mind you is still very hung up on a faceless alpha—alone.”

“Man, that was a lot of words at the same time, let me process it.” Mitch laid down on his sofa. After a few minutes of tense silence he added, “I think you should tell Louis. Like straight up tell him ‘ _buddy, I feel worms inside my tummy every time I see you.”_

“Are you even listening to me?”

“Barely, but my point still stands. Whatever this Lisa girl was to you before the accident, is no longer applicable.” Harry opened his mouth to protest. “No, listen to me, wasn’t it that guy from Coldplay who said that if you’re in love with two people you have to let the first one go because if you were really in love with them you wouldn’t actually be able to fall in love with someone else?”

“I’m pretty sure you read that on an Instagram’s quote account.”

“Probably, but it still makes sense if you think about it. Are you in love with Louis?”

“I’m not in love with Lisa now. That’s the only thing I know for sure.”

“Okay, baby steps. Let’s work with that.” 

“I guess so...”

“Hey, I’m not very sure if I should be saying this, but I think you felt something for Louis even before the accident.” Mitch shrugged. “We didn’t talk much about this type of stuff, to be honest. It was mostly me ranting about robots and you about software, but I remember you mentioning Louis several times, and how excited you were that he was _finally_ coming back. You smiled a lot while doing that. You never talked about Lisa but you did talk about Louis.”

“He’s my best friend.”

Mitch shrugged one shoulder, “Alright, I’m just telling you what I saw, just… please don’t tell your mom I told you that, she’s scary.”

[☽]

Harry had to get his shit together, things with Louis felt like they were walking on eggshells. Something shifted inside Harry since the morning he saw Louis marked by another alpha. He knew the feeling, it was strong and primal, and was consuming Harry in the most delicious ways.

Harry shifted on the comfy couch of his therapist’s office. “So… Louis,” his therapist nodded patiently waiting for Harry to untangle his feelings and doubts. “Do you remember the last time we talked about him?”

She grabbed her notepad with a stoic look, Harry imagined she knew what was coming. “I recall you mentioning something about feelings. Can you refresh me a bit more?”

“I’m attracted to him. All of me, not only my alpha but me, Harry. And I don’t think it’s only attraction.”

She nodded, encouraging him to keep going.

“That’s it, that’s—I needed to tell someone that I’m aware everything points that I was in love with another person before but with Louis, everything feels better, feels _right_. The only detail is that I’m sure I’m going to ruin our friendship if I keep pursuing these feelings because he doesn’t feel the same as I do.”

“Remember to use ‘I feel’ or ‘I think’ before talking about feelings of other people, at least here,” She replies calmly while scribbling something on her notepad. 

Harry shook his head. “But I’m _sure_ he doesn’t feel the same and would hate me if I just ruin our friendship because I caught feelings.”

“You _feel,_ Harry.”

“Alright, I _feel_ I’m sure, I’m really sure.”

She let out an almost imperceptible sigh. “Why do you feel like that?

“Because he’s in love with another alpha.

“Harry—”

“No, doc, this is definitely not an ‘ _I feel_ ’ situation, he told me that. He told me—well he didn’t exactly tell me he is in love with that alpha but he wants to get over them and that makes me believe he still has a lot of feelings for them.”

His therapist hummed, “And how does that make you feel?”

“To know he’s in love with someone else? I— I don’t know what happened to me. I threw my suppressants away.”

“Was this a reaction of you finding out about the alpha?”

“No—well… kind of? He reeked of alpha—not the alpha he is hung up on but another. Why did he do that? If he misses him, why doesn’t he fight for him??” Harry almost growled. 

“Have you asked him this?”

Harry scoffed and crossed his arms. “As if he would reply to those questions. I just want to understand.”

“Do you feel you have problems communicating with him?”

“Doc, I’m asking for advice here, not for more questions.”

“I don’t have the answers you’re looking for because no reply I give you will come from the person you’re looking for. If you want advice from me I’d tell you that communication is an essential part in all kinds of relationships, no matter the nature of them. You should talk more with Louis, express your feelings. Let him express his.”

Harry snorted. “That’s a whole other issue! He isn’t telling me things, and not only him, everyone is hiding stuff from me and, to be frank? That makes me feel like shit.”

“If I recall correctly in our first sessions, you were in favor of how your treatment was approached, did something in specific make you feel otherwise?” She looked at him calmly. 

“I hate not knowing stuff. I feel like I’ve been lied to.” A voice inside of him was mocking him about how childish he sounded.

“But you are aware you aren’t. You agreed to take things slowly, a lie implies you are not being made aware about a situation,” she said kindly and patiently. “You’re in a monitored treatment to which you consented, your doctors and family are providing you information at its right times and hopefully—if you keep your treatments—your mind also will know when to start remembering without forcing or pushing yourself.”

Harry laughed bitterly. “With all due respect, doc, all the information they’re giving me is useless. I don’t really need to know in which year I was promoted or that I like to eat pineapple at work.”

She nodded. “What would you like to know?”

“Why is my best friend hiding his ex? Why do I have the need to create a nest out of my fucking clothes for said best friend every time he seems slightly down? Why do I keep having the dreams I have? ”

There was a lengthy pause. “Do you still dream about the glass heart?”

“I dream about longing for someone so hard my heart aches and my ears buzz, like if I was drowning without this person. About resignation and acceptance but I still wake up angry, sad and longing. Like if part of me were gone”

“Do these feelings carry all day?”

Harry shook his head. “No, it usually fades when I get up.”

“Have you talked with your doctor about this?”

Harry shrugged. “He told me you sent him some stuff. That I was progressing a lot.”

“That’s good.” She nodded. “And don’t be worried about me sending him information, you know this is a team effort and we’re doing all that’s in our power to help you with your recovery in the safest approach for your psychological well-being.”

Harry knew that, he was aware everyone close to him was putting all their attempts into helping him get better. A rush of shame ran through his body thinking how pathetic he must look to anyone, complaining about stuff they were doing not because they wanted to but because they _had_ to.

“How’s your social life going?” She asked a few minutes before their session ended.

“It’s going… It’s less awkward now that I’m adjusted to work and my friends are really understanding.

“Have you planned any small gathering in the future?”

“Actually… there was this thing I wanted to ask you…”

[☽]

  
  


For some reason, Harry felt from the beginning that a party at their house could be a risky idea, but his therapist gave him the green light, and Harry was dying to get things back to normal with Louis. 

Most importantly, and despite what his therapist suggested, he needed to crush all the weird feelings he felt for his friend, and there was no better way to do that than introducing his ex girlfriend, (and possibly mate?) to the alpha he was head over heels for.

This was good, he was trying and Lisa was very understanding even after Harry told her he was confused about his feelings and didn’t want to play with hers. She told him she wanted to still try to date him and see how things went. To Harry that was a sign that he should keep focusing on what he had and not what he couldn’t have.

“So, this is your house,” Lisa smiled at him while she shrugged off her coat. 

“This is our house, yeah. Mine and Louis’.” 

“I haven’t seen Louis since college. How is he?”

“I live with a grumpy alpha who likes to leave his socks on the couch. How do you think I am?” Louis yelled from the kitchen.

“Hey, I’m not grumpy.” Harry yelled back as he sat beside Lisa on one of the couches.

“Funny how you didn’t deny the socks part,” Louis chuckled as he entered their living room, black apron on display. “Here’s some appetizers, I don’t know how good or bad they will be because I just made them with what we had in the fridge.” 

He could faintly hear Lisa grabbing something from the tray, making pleasant sounds about the food but Harry couldn’t focus on anything more than Louis. His heart thundered in his ears, pounding against his ribcage as his mouth ran dry, his alpha going crazy with desire at the sight in front of him. Harry just tried to not melt through the floor.

Suddenly he realized why a party in his house was a risky idea. _They_ were about to host a party in _their_ house for _their_ friends. It was all so fucking domestic and his alpha was living for the idea of him and Louis doing those type of stuff together. Pride swelled up inside him by Louis’ efforts to help him with the party as lust traveled through all his body to the sight of Louis in his apron. 

‘ _My fucking god, he looks like a dream.’_ Harry thought wetting his lips and almost purring with desire.

He wanted Louis, he wanted to strip him of all his clothes, just leaving the apron, he wanted to pull him down on his twitching cock and keep him there, bouncing him up and down in his lap, again and again until he filled him up with all his come, until he claimed him, knot buried deep inside Louis.

“Did you stop using suppressants?” Lisa choked with blown pupils. 

‘ _Fuck,’_

Harry forgot _again_ that without suppressants everyone and their mothers could smell arousal on him.

Louis coughs lightly, a flush creeping into his cheeks. “I got a text from Liam, he’s on his way. He’s bringing Niall and some cake,” he said, saving Harry from the embarrassment of explaining what the fuck was happening with him.

“Cake?” Harry asked, voice deep and hoarse, purposely ignoring Lisa’s question.

“He wants to make a good impression with your work friends.”

“I only invited Mitch.”

“Why is he trying to impress Mitch?” Lisa said with a chuckle, completely recovered from the incident. “Does he even like cake?”

“Do you know Mitch?” Louis' voice sounded even and calm, but there’s something in it that made Harry arch a brow with curiosity.

“Yeah, Harry took me to his place to watch some game. At first I thought _‘oh god, he’s a sport freak,’_ but it turns out it was a League of Legend one and I thought _‘oh god, he’s a gamer,_ ’” Lisa laughed and Harry couldn’t help but smile at her happiness. “I seriously can’t imagine him eating anything besides Sour Patch Kids, do you?” she asked Louis.

“I wouldn’t know, I haven’t met Mitch.” Louis said,a small smile on his face as his hands slowly started to take his apron off.

Harry wanted to run to Louis to stop him and maybe hug him tightly. 

Before he could do any of that, the doorbell rang once before someone opened it. Both Harry and Louis stood up and growled at the intruder, body alert.

“Am I about to get killed? Because you were the ones who didn’t lock your door properly, so this is anyone’s fault but mine.” Mitch responded with a delighted tone. His eyes began scanning the room until they landed on Louis. “Huh.” He said, gaze focused now on his apron. 

Harry suppressed another growl. 

“We just were talking about you.” Lisa said standing up to hug Mitch.

“All good things, I hope.” Mitch said good heartedly, hugging Lisa back.

“Always,” Lisa backed away from the beta. “Someone is bringing a cake just for you” 

“Cake?” Mitch arched his brow. 

“It’s uhm, chocolate cake?” Louis said from the other side of the living room. “I have tried it before. It’s from a local store, it’s really really good.”

Mitch smiles widens. “Is it?” He replied to Louis with an amused tone. Louis quickly nodded with big happy eyes. “Nice to finally meet you, Louis Tomlinson.”

Louis’ mouth formed an ‘o’ as his cheeks reddened. “Hi, I’m so sorry, nice to meet you too,” He said as he walked towards Mitch. 

“Thank you for inviting me to your house, it’s very lovely.” 

“I picked these chairs.” Louis smiled proudly as he pointed to their latest acquisition, a green olive, an orange and one blue lounge chairs, one of the first items Louis actually picked for the house. 

“That’s the dopest part of the house.” Mitch said solemnly.

“I picked more things.” Louis continued with a proud smile.

“Thank god, the last time I came here, this house looked like a bank!” 

“Right?” 

“Okay, okay, what if we stop bashing my old house decor and eat the food Louis made for us.”

Mitch brows went impossibly high. “You made all the food?”

Louis scoffed. “Of course not, Harry made the main dish but forgot to make the appetizers so I just made something really quick.”

Mitch went quiet, eyes going back and forth from Louis to Harry before letting out a loud cackle. “God, you two are… _very_ cute. Okay let’s try those appetizers.” 

[☽]

  
  


All their friends got along with each other pretty well, from the oldest to the newest. Everything was going perfectly fine until it wasn’t. 

Harry found out Louis met Zayn in a bar in New York. Zayn called it fate from all the people he could find there, he found the one who lived 10 minutes from him in England and shared his passion for books and paintings. 

Harry felt unsettled for the rest of the conversation. Logically speaking, he knew Louis wasn’t interested in Zayn because all his focus was on the alpha he was in love with, but he couldn’t help but feel a prickle of insecurity running through his spine at hearing how Zayn stayed a month more than he had planned in New York so he could keep Louis company. 

Louis met Krystle through Zayn. They lived together since before the omega went to New York. She was a painter just like Zayn and Harry could easily see how much she loved and cared about Louis. 

Not only her, but all of Louis’ friends looked at him as if he hung the moon, old and new, Harry included, he was sure about that. 

Half of the night Harry gushed about Louis’ entire existence, from his job in one of the most well known law firms in the UK, that apparently everyone—expect Lisa and Mitch—knew about, to how he was learning how to bake scones from scratch, peach scones. He probably should feel a bit of shame in how corny he sometimes sounded but couldn’t find strong enough reasons to do so when Louis blushed and giggled every time he bragged about all those stuff.

Things didn’t get weird until the end of the night. Krystle was animatedly telling how they tried to convince Louis to go live with them when she had a small slip.

“I spent all that morning so excited about finally meeting this nerd guy who my other nerd friend introduced me to via Skype, yeah?” Krystle said mid laughs, a white glass of wine pointing between Zayn and Louis. “It was like _fuck, finally,_ after so many nights of just chatting via text and obscure reaction pictures I was finally gonna meet him. And there was this high possibility of him living with us, so I was ecstatic!” She drank another sip of her wine and chuckled. “Turns out, at the end, he chose to stay with—” She abruptly stopped talking mid-sentence, frozen smile and wide eyes, looking like the exact image of a deer caught in headlights.

Everyone went deadly quiet until Harry spoke.

“What? What’s going on?” He tried to catch Louis’ eyes but he found everyone besides Mitch and Lisa were basically avoiding him. 

Krystle drank the rest of her wine before nervously chuckling. “Nothing, it’s—” 

“My ex convinced me to live with him.” Louis said with a flat and detached tone. 

“What?”

Louis shrugged. “It was a great deal, I wasn’t going to pay rent for a month, I couldn’t just say no.”

“You told me you lived with me.”

In a sense, that would explain a lot of stuff, like why Louis’ room was so empty when he came back from the hospital, why there were no pictures of them in the house, why all his clothes were at first in his bags. What Harry couldn’t explain was why Louis _lied_ to him about living together?

Niall faked a yawn. “ _Whew_ , didn’t know it was _this_ late, better get going, don’t you think, Liam?”

“Yeah, definitely. If someone wants a ride, my car’s big enough,” Liam said to nobody in particular, quickly getting up from the table. 

“I brought my car, I’m all good.” Mitch’s voice was calm, but Harry could see a hint of worry in his eyes. 

Zayn’s face was impassive, body still attached to the chair. “Come on, Z, we have to go.” Krystle half-whispered while throwing apologetic looks to Louis. 

“Do we?” The omega asked stubbornly, eyes challenging Harry. 

“It’s okay,” Louis smiled at him, easy and soft, as thought nothing out of the ordinary was happening. “Remember you have to wake up early tomorrow, love.”

And okay, _love?_ Was that really necessary? 

Harry was about to throw a snarky comment when a small hand touched his arm. 

“You don’t have to stay if you don’t want to, we can go to my place…” Lisa whispered with understanding eyes.

“I think I drank a bit too much to drive, I’m sorry,” Harry said apologetically.

“Oh it’s okay don’t worry.” Lisa said flustered. “I can leave with Liam, right, Li?” 

“Sure, let me grab your coat then.”

After everyone left, Louis began to collect all the dishes from the table. 

“That was fun, huh?” He said not looking at Harry.

“Louis…”

“I think next time we invite them we can make that roast beef you like so much.”

“Louis,”

“I can try to make some fancy salad, Krystle loves fancy salads.”

Harry closed his eyes and took a deep breath. “Lou—”

“Or we can go to Lisa’s apartment and next Liam’s, we can divide dinners.”

“Can you stop pretending nothing happened tonight?” Harry finally snapped.

“What are you talking about? Nothing happened tonight?”

“Louis I don’t fucking know what happened with your ex that it seems that everyone is afraid to talk about them, but I’m your best friend. You can tell me anything.”

“I really don’t know what you’re talking about...” Louis said with a warning tone as Harry got close to him. 

“I’m talking about the fact that you lied to me about living together before the accident because we clearly weren’t. I’m talking about you hiding this alpha’s identity for god knows what reason.” Harry felt suddenly restless as if every muscle of his body was vibrating. “Did—did that fucking asshole hurt you? _God,_ I’m gonna _end_ him.” 

Louis’ eyes flashed red for a second, chest loudly rumbling. 

“Louis, what the fuck?” Harry took a few steps back from Louis, voice sounding angry and hurt. From all their years knowing each other, Louis had never flashed his eyes at him. 

Louis shook his head. “I— _fuck…_ look… he didn’t hurt me, he did _nothing_ wrong.”

So the alpha was a he…

“ _The fuck_ he did. Where is he even???” Harry felt dizzy with anger.

Louis closed his eyes, chin slightly wobbling. “He is _gone_ …”

“Gone _where_??”

Louis bit his lip and shook his head again. There was a redness on his bottom lip thanks to it, and Harry was dying to kiss it better.

“Have you noticed the majority of people, when they get hurt—even with the smallest of cuts—sometimes cannot stop poking or feeling the place where it hurts?”

Harry‘s brows furrowed. “What? Louis what are you—”

“It’s like a need to touch and feel this new part of you that shouldn’t be there, but there it is, hurting every time you touch it.” Louis looked straight into Harry’s eyes. “Well, I don’t like to touch where it hurts. If it’s avoidable and I know it will heal on its own, I’d much rather leave it alone, and I think just for tonight you should do the same. Stop. Poking.”

Louis left Harry standing in the middle of their dinner table with a thousand questions in his mind.

He could hear the soft click of Louis’ bedroom door, which for Harry’s dumb alpha wasn’t right at all. He should have gone to Harry’s instead so he could fix things. So Louis could be beside him, under him. 

Harry’s chest rumbled as he tried to settle down. He tried to rationalize that Louis was already in love with another alpha, that Louis was the type of alpha that the last thing he’d want was to be under Harry.

[☽]

  
  


They didn’t talk for the rest of the week. Before leaving the house on Thursday he left some breakfast for Louis. 

Years of knowing the other alpha taught he needed to give Louis some space, and that if Harry kept pushing, Louis would just close off even further. He also was very aware that Louis was right, he needed to stop poking cuts that didn’t belong to him. So he spent his Friday and Saturday between Liam and Mitch’s houses, only texting Louis he wasn’t coming back.

By Saturday night, Harry felt he had given Louis enough time to cool off. He felt as if he could now properly listen to his apology for intruding in things that didn’t actually concern him. 

That night, Harry also took Lisa to a fancy restaurant and kissed her goodbye at her front door. It was all really pleasant, but again, there were no sparks and his heart and mind were all focused on seeing and talking with Louis. 

However, all of Harry’s plans went to shit as soon as he entered his apartment and got to smell a well-known lemon pie scent. 

Harry felt a stab of grief-tinged possessiveness so strong his stomach lurched at realizing the scent was different, almost ripe. 

Louis was alone in their house with an omega _in heat_. 

Harry took a few quick steps purely guiding himself by the scent, not surprised to find Louis alone in the kitchen carrying a tray with water and some fruit.

“Where is he?” Harry almost grunted at Louis. He sounded betrayed and hurt but he couldn’t give less fucks. “No, don’t tell me,” He squinted his eyes, his heart constricting, already knowing the reply. “I just need to know why you thought it was a good idea to bring your omega here,” he almost snarled.

Louis swallowed twice before he spoke. “You know Zayn is not _my_ omega. Don’t be a knothead.” He left the tray of food on their granite countertop. 

“How am I the knothead when you are the one bringing omegas in fucking _heat_ to our house?” Harry argued, his voice low and angry as he clenched his fists. 

“I tried to call you and text you,” Louis said, sounding nervous and small. “He lives alone with Krystle and their house isn’t very secure. He usually goes to the omega facilities, but there were too many people in the one assigned to him, and he had no other place to go to and I— I tried to call you I swear. He’s just staying in my room, I’ll sleep on the couch, it only smells when we open the door—”

Sensing Louis’ distress all the fight left Harry’s body, he quickly closed the gap between them until they were close enough to touch. “Hey, no, calm down, It’s okay. I understand things like that happen, and it’s partially my fault. My phone died.” His hands gracefully moved to caress Louis’ face, trying to calm the boy in front of him as much as he could, while also trying to avoid his grunting at the scent of a different person all over his clothes.

“Oh, I thought you were still mad at me?” 

“Mad at you?” Harry made a face. “Why would I be mad at you?”

Louis looked down. “Because of what I told you the other day.”

“That I needed to mind my business?” Harry chuckled. “Why would I be mad about that? How many years have we known each other?”

“Many,” Louis mumbled, still refusing to directly look at Harry. 

“You don’t have to tell me anything that you aren’t ready to talk about.” Harry gently brushed a strand of hair out of Louis’ face. “I lost a few years, but I didn’t lose my common sense. I know you sometimes need your space, and I also know I can be stubborn and a bit demanding. I’m trying to learn how to control all that. I wasn’t mad at you.”

“You left for a lot of days,” Louis said with watery eyes.

Harry was dying to rub his face against Louis’ neck, he leaned his head down to Louis’ eye level. “I’m not leaving again, alright? Next time we have an argument, I’ll just go to my room, but I’m staying here, with you.”

Louis' eyes fluttered and a small whine escaped from his mouth. They were so close, Harry could feel Louis’ small puffs of breath against his mouth. He darted his tongue to wet his pretty bitten pink lips and Harry could swear he felt a faint trace of wetness in the bottom of his too. 

“Louis!” Zayn screamed from Louis’ room, making Harry let out an annoyed grunt. “Hurry up, I’m hungry!”

“ _Shit!_ ” Louis snapped his eyes open and hurriedly began grabbing the forgotten tray. “I forgot to take this to his room.” 

Harry gently grabbed his arm before he could leave the kitchen. “You don’t have to sleep on the couch. You can sleep in my room.” The deep husk of his voice startling both him and Louis. 

Louis shook his head as if he was coming out of a daze. “I’m not letting you sleep on the couch, Harry.”

“I didn’t say I was sleeping on the couch either. My bed is big enough for both of us.”

“Oh.” Louis visibly gulped.

Harry chuckled. “Go give him the food and come to my room. I can lend you some clothes.”

Once Harry was inside his room, he began selecting the clothes for Louis. He took his time, picking the clothes carefully, making sure it was perfect for him. He searched in all his drawers until he found his softest jumper and comfiest pants. During his search, he also found the ring Louis gave to him a few weeks ago, still hanging on the chain as the first time Louis showed it to him. Harry had no recollection of asking Louis for the ring after their conversation.

“I put it there because we got distracted that night and I forgot to give it back,” Louis said behind him.

“It’s okay, I didn’t mind you having it,” Harry turned around to face him. 

“You didn’t?” 

“No, I think that’s why I never asked for it. I know it’s in good hands with you.”

Louis stared at him, wide-eyed, cheeks prettily staining red. “It’s good to know,” he whispered before clearing his throat. “I’m sorry for, you know… Zayn and stuff,” he said, face going a deeper shade of red.

“It’s okay, I told you… I just thought that you and him… you know...” 

Louis looked confused until realization clicked on his face. “Oh god, no! No, no, we—he is one of my best friends, we would never…”

Harry arched a brow, “Are you telling me you’ve never even kissed?” he teased, trying to make Louis relax.

Louis scoffed, a small smile forming on his face, “Have you seen us? We’re both tremendously beautiful, it was bound to happen at least once or twice, maybe five times.”

Harry frowned before Louis burst into a fit of laughter. He then sighed and plopped on Harry’s bed. “So… uhm… I wanted to explain some stuff about my past.”

Harry tensed. “You don’t have to tell me anything, it was wrong of me—”

“No,” Louis interrupted him. “I want to tell you, I owe you at least an explanation.”

“You don’t owe me anything, Lou.”

“I kinda do… and like I said, I really want to tell you, I need to tell my best friend.”

Harry sat beside Louis, already preparing himself to hear about the last person he wanted to hear about. “Then, I’m all ears,” He squeezed Louis’ leg.

Louis breathed out. “The first thing I want to clarify again is that he never hurt me, he was… he was good, really amazing.”

And yup, just with that, Harry knew that the conversation was going to hurt like a motherfucker.

“Then what happened?”

“We tried, but it just didn’t work.”

So Mr. Perfect Alpha wasn’t so perfect after all...

“How so?” 

“Well, as you know, I got a internship in a firm in the states—”

“And he dumped you?” Harry asked with a tense voice.

 _‘What a fucking jerk…’_

Louis let a sad chuckle. “No, he—he was the sweetest, most supportive person ever,” he said with a wistful smile. Harry's stomach felt a bit sick realizing how much Louis felt for that alpha. “He was the one who encouraged me to go. We tried to make it work, we really did, but our schedules and time zones didn’t help much. We talked a lot about it and we mutually decided it was for the best to end things…”

“Did you want to break up?” 

“It wasn’t about what we wanted, not at that time, but it was what we both needed,” Louis responded.

Harry gulped before gaining the courage to ask his next question. “And now?”

“Now he’s in love with someone else.”

Something shortcutted inside Harry. That couldn’t be possible. “He _can’t_ be…” he said outrageously. “he must be a fucking moron to choose any other person who isn’t you. A tasteless moron.”

“Harry…” Louis said warningly. 

“Sorry I just… he _is_.”

“Anyways, none of that matters anymore because it’s all in the past,” Louis said trying to sound nonchalant, but failing miserably. 

“Do you still love him?”

“Yes,” His reply was quick and simple, as if there were no other answer. 

“How do you even know he doesn’t love you back anymore?”

“The first time he fell… He didn’t mean to. I know he didn’t mean to. He was so smitten by another person and I just made my way around his heart. He’s now with the person he’s supposed to be.”

“You _feel.”_ Harry said with a low voice.

“What?”

“You’re using affirmations about other people’s feelings, that’s—” Harry gulped. “That’s not okay or fair to them, you can feel things but that doesn’t mean it’s a reality.”

“But it _is_ a reality.”

“Bullshit,” Harry grunted out. For some reason, Louis’ words were hurting him for something else than jealousy. “You’re just giving up on love just because you’re too afraid of— I don’t know what.”

Louis paused as a small smile bloomed on his face. “When I was younger, my mom used to read a poem. At first, I didn’t understand what it meant, I just liked how it sounded and asked my mom to read it again and again. Years later, when its words started to shape a meaning, that poem helped me to understand a lot of things, it went something like _‘To love is not to possess, to own or imprison, nor to lose one’s self in another’.”_ Louis shook his head, a smile turning a bit sad.

“I’m not giving up on love,” He softly touched the hand that was still grabbing his thigh. “To me, love is like flowers. Each one needs a special treatment, if you give an orchid the same treatment you give to an iris, the orchid will die. Same thing with love. I’m not giving up on love, I’m just changing the treatment. We might not be an orchid, but we could make such a pretty iris.” 

Harry’s chest roared with pain. “Fuck irises, _you’re_ an orchid and he’s an asshole if he can’t see that.”

Louis tilted his head and gave him an odd smile: “You have very mixed feelings about him. One moment you want me to fight for our love and the second you’re calling him an asshole.”

“Well,” Harry frowned, not knowing how to explain his feelings about the whole situation. “I just want you to be happy, loved.” 

“I am happy and _very_ loved. As I said, it’s just a different type of love.” 

Harry just nodded, not knowing what else to say, chest heavy with a strange feeling of longing for something he couldn’t quite describe. 

He nudged Louis with his shoulder and cleared his throat. “So, how long is Zayn’s heat going to last?”

Louis huffed. “I think he just needs tomorrow, his suppressants are good.”

“Alright. What if tomorrow we leave him the house for himself while I take you to any place you want?”

“Any place?” Louis asked with an amused lopsided smile on his face.

“Any. I’m going to spoil you rotten tomorrow.”

Louis pulled his lower lip under his teeth as his cheeks turned kissed pink. “You don’t have to, I’m really fine.”

“I know you’re fine, but I want you— I mean, I want to take you out. Just you and me, like the old times .”

Louis hummed. “Alright, but we need to leave plenty of food ready for Zayn.”

“Copy that,” Harry playfully saluted Louis. “Also, here…” he said as he put the necklace with the ring around Louis’ neck. “I still want you to take care of this.”

“Harry,” Louis grabbed Harry’s hand. “if you’re doing this out of pity…”

Harry frowned, honestly confused by Louis’ reaction. “What does this ring have anything to do with what happened to you?”

“Oh nothing, but it feels like a bribe to make me happy,” Louis’ hand clenched the ring with his hand.

“A bribe?” Harry snorted. “This is me asking you for a favor. There’s no safer place for that ring than with you.” 

That night, Harry dreamed about the scent… about soft skin and softer kisses. About promises and ‘I love you’s’. 

That night he dreamed about orchids.

[☽]

Harry started his morning thinking he was still dreaming: body draped over Louis, hand curled around his waist and nose buried against his neck. But most importantly, Harry started his morning _hard_.

Louis’ scent was all Harry, and that simple fact was making the alpha go crazy. He tried to pull away before doing something stupid like scent mark his best friend or leave a mark on his neck, but Louis was having none of it and pulled his arm closer to him.

Harry froze in the spot, not knowing what else to do and to avoid Louis noticing what was actually happening inside his pants, he slowly untangled their legs before trying to remove his arm. 

Louis let out a small whine at the loss. The sound pulsing warm inside Harry’s chest.

For a few seconds, Harry played with the idea of waking Louis up with a kiss and a confession but he knew better. He wasn’t going to let his out of place feelings ruin their friendship. 

After all their years of knowing each other, Harry still didn’t quite get why Louis decided to pick him as a friend. He might understand them being friends now that he is a successful person, way more cool than the 19-year-old awkward boy Louis met in college, but back then it felt as if every single eye was on Louis, including Harry’s. 

The first time Harry saw Louis, the alpha was playing an impromptu soccer match in the front yard of their fraternity house. He was agile and fast, he made soccer look like a dance. 

The first time Louis saw Harry, he was throwing up his guts in that same front yard. To say Harry felt mortified was an understatement. He made a fool of himself in front of the people he was supposed to be living with for _years_. 

_“Are you okay, mate?” Louis’ voice sounded concerned and genuine. Harry closed his eyes so hard he could see stars. “You don’t have to prove us anything or drink your body weight in the process.”_

_“I’m a pledge. Your brothers might think very differently.”_

_“My brothers can go fuck themselves then. Come on, stop drinking that shit.”_

_Harry yanked his arm free and slightly shoved Louis. “That’s so easy for you to say, you already got them all eating out of your hand.”_

_Louis smiled amused. “Have been looking at me a lot, eh, grumps?”_

_“What? No—What?! It’s just—it’s hard for me, all these things…”_

_“The drinking stuff or the frat stuff?”_

_“The frat stuff, I’m a good drinker,” Louis arched a well groomed brow. Harry had to avert his eyes so he could concentrate on the point he was trying to make. “I usually am!” He protested stubbornly when he heard a snort. “I’m just not used to being around so many people obsessively trying to be better than the other. It’s fucking tiresome,” He sat on the cold concrete._

_Louis hummed as he sat beside him. “I get what you mean, but I think you got it all wrong. Sure, some of them are extremely cocky and annoying, but you don’t have to prove anything_ to them _, you just have to be you. If they like you, cool, and if they don’t, that sounds like their problem. It won’t be the end of the world if they don’t pick us.”_

_“Again, it’s very easy to say all these things when you have one foot inside. You’re already friends with almost all of them. They don’t even know my name, you don’t even know it either.”_

_“Perhaps you should start talking with them, Harry.”_

_“You know my name?”_

_“Haven’t you thought that maybe they like me because I listen and I pay attention to things? Look at them, really look at them,” Louis said, pointing with two fingers at the inside of the house. “There’s a reason why we all pick this fraternity. They’re a bunch of dorks, just like you and me. They aren’t competing against each other, the majority are just a bunch of overly excited tech nerds finally finding a place where they can talk about stuff they love. If someone is out of place here, it’s me!”_

_“You don’t know about computers?” Harry asked, genuinely concerned._

_“I want to be a lawyer, not a fucking Amish, of course I know about computers, Styles.”_

_Harry barked a bright laugh. “Then why the hell did you pick this fraternity?”_

_“It’s the only frat who helps organizations who help omegas to mask their secondary gender.” Louis shrugged._

_Harry blinked. “What?”_

_“I don’t know if you are familiar with Trackless? It’s an organization who provides omegas with suppressants and... other stuff.”_

_Harry frowned. “What other type of stuff?”_

_“I don’t know how much you know about neutralizers but some scientists found out a few decades ago that if omegas used extracts of alpha scents while on suppressants, the chances to be treated as fairly as any other alphas went up to a 70%.”_

_“Well, of course, they will smell taken.”_

_Louis huffed exasperated, “That’s the thing, when on suppressants, alpha concentrated scents don’t smell like alpha or omega, to others, it would be just a nice smell._

_“But we have suppressants and perfumes for that?”_

_“Neutralizers are a step further, while perfumes are nice, A scents contains active alpha’s pheromones who no one but the person who is using it will know they’re working in the omega’s favor. An omega on suppressants is safe, sure, but A scents will give them a rightful treatment, jobs… It will make people actually listen to them with no judgment.”_

_“So all the alpha’s here donate their scents?”_

_Louis shook his head, “Not all of them, but they all have to contribute to something for the organization.”_

_“Are you going to donate yours?”_

_“Yeah, even if I don’t get in. I talked to Liam about it and he told me I could come to donate some.”_

_“So an omega in some part of the country might smell exactly like you?”_

_“Try in some part of the campus.” Louis chuckled._

_“Wait,” Harry snapped his head at Louis. “wouldn’t that be weird? Imagine if you get to meet them or someone set you on a blind date with them?? Or if they start dating a friend of yours, what if your friend confuses your scent with theirs because it’s the same???”_

_“Well, for starters, no one is going to confuse my scent with theirs because I’m on my suppressants all the time… And for the other part, it might get a bit weird if someone sets us up on a date, but if I like them, and if they like me, I don't see any problem.”_

_“My parents would love you,” Harry blurted out of nowhere because they would. He could easily see his father moved by all of this information, he always worried for young omegas, fully knowing not everyone had the same luck as him. He also could picture his mother wanting to help to the cause with her scent._

_He doesn’t even think about the implications of what he said, that he wanted Louis to stay around long enough to meet his parents. Maybe it was the alcohol, maybe it was the fact Louis sounded so smart and knew things Harry wanted to know more about or maybe it was because he looked very pretty under the soft lights of the front yard but Harry wanted him to stay._

_Could alphas look pretty? Was that a thing? Pretty alphas? Because Louis looked pretty and soft and sounded so smart._

_“Would they?” Louis said, interrupting his thoughts. “If you play your cards right you might get to see it happen.” He smirked playfully. “And alphas can be pretty too. Anyone can.”_

They both ended up getting in the frat and donating their scents to Trackless. The whole process hurted like a motherfuck but it was worth it. Louis also met Harry’s parents multiple times so he probably played his cards correctly. 

In fact, he did more than play his card correctly that two first semesters. If he had to be honest, he harbored a sort of a crush for Louis in his first year of college, but nobody could actually blame him when half of his frat brothers also saw Louis as if he hung the moon himself. 

It wasn’t a big deal, Harry was only a human and Louis was to put in simple words, a beautiful person inside out. He was smart and assertive but also funny and easy going. He was gentle and caring with everyone, from the smallest omega to the biggest alpha. He was a natural leader and Harry was proud to call himself his best friend.

There were still moments, small and pleasing moments where Harry noticed how Louis’ smile turned even softer every time he looked at Harry, when he blushed when Harry complimented his clothes or hair that made Harry question his feelings for the other alpha. 

But nothing could compare to that last night before everything changed. 

_It was a quiet night, almost all their frat brothers went out to celebrate the last day of finals but the rest stayed at the house, too tired to go out._

_They drank some cheap beer and ate some cheaper pizza. By around midnight they all were pleasantly buzzed and giggly, playing ‘truth or beer’._

_“Are we in sixth form or something? Who even plays truth or dare in college?” Harry grunted._

_“Is this you trying to fulfill your sixth form dreams that you couldn’t get in your boarding school?” Louis sniggered._

_“This is a different type of game, you dorks,” Niall said, shaking his finger. “In truth or beer, you don’t have to do any dumb and tiresome dare, you just have to keep drinking, because I’m way too tired to stand up.”_

_“You’re so fulfilling your sixth form dreams,” Louis was full on giggling now, face half hidden on Liam’s arm. Harry had a strange need to change seats to be closer to him._

_“Let me tell you, I had plenty of opportunity to have sixth form experiences there,” Niall sniffed before waving his hand dismissively. “Now stop avoiding the question, who’d you sleep from the frat?”_

_Harry was sure Louis was going to pick Liam. After Louis, Liam was the most seeked alpha of the frat. They always made a great team and Louis always looked extra softer besides Liam._

_“I’d probably say Harry,” Louis shrugged as if it was the most obvious reply._

_The room suddenly felt small and cagey and the only thing he wanted in that moment was to pull Louis close to him and rub his scent all over his neck. He closed his eyes and took another sip from his lukewarm beer, while everyone kept playing._

_Before it was Harry’s turn to reply, someone threw up on the carpet and they had to call it a night. They didn’t talk about it before going to sleep. But to be fair, what was Harry supposed to ask?_

_‘So you want to sleep with me?’_

_It was a bit invasive and very presumptuous, Louis only replied to a dumb Truth or Dare question, it probably didn’t mean anything for him._

_With that same mentality he went to buy their breakfast the next morning. Because it was a Saturday and Harry wasn’t about to change their routines only because Louis pleased his alpha in a drinking game._

_That was the mantra that kept repeating in his head when he smelled the scent for the first time. Before Harry knew what he was doing, his feet were moving by their own will, heart pounding inside his chest by the drool-worthy smell of sweet caramel and berries._

_The word ‘mate’ flashed inside his brain and Harry produced some type of throat vibrating purr._

_Eyes finally zeroing on a pretty girl sitting on a tree. For some reason his body froze and eyes furrowed, something didn’t add up for his alpha._

_Harry had to actually fight a bit for control that day, making his body walk towards the girl._

_“Hey,” Harry said, voice hoarded and pupils probably as big as his eyes. “do I know you?”_

_The girl’s eyes widened but then she shyly smiled. “We have some classes together.”_

_“Oh… I’m Harry.”_

_“I know your name,” the girl chuckled. ”I’m Lisa.”_

_Harry forgot to buy Louis breakfast that morning._

“Why are you frowning, grumps?” Louis said with a raspy voice. Harry always loved how he looked and sounded in the morning.

Harry felt his face soften. “I’m just thinking about how much food we should leave for Zayn for the day.”

Louis’ smile widened. “How thoughtful of you.” He poked his thighs with his big toe.

“Is he allergic to something?” Harry asked before grabbing Louis’ feet and tickling it.

Louis squirmed and giggled. “ _Stop!_ And no, he is good, we can leave him fruit, water and some beef sandwiches.”

“Perfect, then you can take a warm shower while I get everything ready.”

“So you’re for real spoiling me today, huh?” Louis batting his eyelashes and playing shy was making it really hard to get up.

Harry didn’t have to look at himself in the mirror to know he was puffing his chest proudly. “I promised you, today was all about you.”

Louis looked young and happy. “Alright then, let’s start with Louis’ day.”

Harry had to bite his lip to not say something embarrassing like ‘ _To me, every day is Louis’ day.”_

[☽]

The day was going swimmingly, they ate, they laughed, they went to see some movies and then they went shopping. 

Harry was truthful to his words and was spoiling the other alpha rotten, buying him each and every single item he wanted. Louis’ eyes for his part looked bright and clear. They both looked happy.

Everything felt warm and fuzzy while they waited for their coffees to be ready until Harry’s phone rang loud and clear. Without thinking much he pulled the device out of his pocket and saw his screen light up with Lisa’s name. He quickly glanced at Louis, who now was sporting an indecipherable look. 

“Why aren’t you picking up?” Louis asked with a soft tone.

“I—” And Harry had to ask himself the same question. Why didn’t he want to answer the call of his supposedly future mate. His alpha was supposed to be attuned with her. Why didn’t he feel any urge to pick up the phone? Why was he more focused on Louis’ reactions than the possibility of Lisa being in any type of danger? 

“Harry?” Louis frowned. 

“Yeah, I’m— I’ll, just…” He picked the phone. “Hey, Lis, everything alright?”

“Yeah, I was just calling to ask if you still were coming over?” Lisa’s voice sounded unsure. 

That was then when he remembered he already made plans with the omega days ago. Harry was a mess. 

“Shit, no yeah, I—I’m buying some stuff with Louis…”

“Oh,” The line went quiet after that. “That’s okay, where are you guys? Can you buy me something before you come here? I can pay you.”

“I mean, yeah, we are at Seven Dials?”

“That’s more than perfect, do you know Miller Harris?”

Harry furrowed his brows. “The A scents and fragrance store?”

Harry might have lost a chunk of his life but he had the internet to catch up on some things. He was well aware now it was easier for omegas to legally and openly buy A scents in stores—Louis still thought big corporations shouldn’t profit from it, that they should just simply help omegas who needed the scents.

“That one, I’m going to need you to go to their ‘A Matter’ section and pick a small bottle of Brighton Rock, not the fragrance but the extract.”

Harry didn’t question her motives, fully knowing it wasn’t his place to ask. “Sure, want something else?”

“No, that’d be all, you’re a star. See you later.”

“Bye.” Harry replied before ending the call. 

“What’s up?”

“Nothing, she wants me to buy her some stuff.” 

“Oh, alright,” Louis nodded. “Where should we go?”

For one part, Harry wasn’t sure how comfortable Lisa was with the idea of him sharing what he was about to buy, but Louis _was_ his best friend and she knew Harry was with him.

At the end he decided to do what Louis would probably have done. 

“Can you stay here for a bit while I go alone? It would be just a few minutes and our orders are almost ready.”

It could be Harry’s own insecurities but he almost swears he saw a flash of disappointment in Louis' eyes before he recovered and gave him his now trademarked soft smile. “Sure, don’t worry, I’ll wait here.”

As soon he stepped inside the store, Harry got dizzy with the amount of different scents inside of it. He quickly spotted the Alpha’s extracts and the one Lisa asked for. In less than ten minutes he was out of the store.

He was about to sprint to the coffeeshop when his eyes zeroed to a small store in front of him. 

Something about the shop pulled Harry as if it was a magnet. It was only when he was already inside the building that he realized it was a luxury lingerie store. 

“Were you looking for something in specific?” a lady with a pixie cut asked him. 

“I was just… looking,” Harry mumbled as his eyes landed on a blossom pink two-piece lace playsuit with strawberry details adorning each piece and connected by ribbons. Flashes of the ribbons wrapped around a light honey colored waist appeared in his mind. 

‘ _It’s perfect.’ Harry thought, but for who?_

“It’s one of our best sell—”

“I’m gonna take it,” Harry blurted without thinking, already scanning the rest of the store, eyes zeroing on a ruffled hem belted champagne pink satin robe and added “this one too.”

After leaving the shop, the realization of what he just had done finally sunk in. He bought his best friend a robe and _fucking_ lingerie. What the fuck was wrong with him??? What on earth made him do that??

However, he didn’t have enough time to dwell in what he did because all his senses now were focused on the man twisting and twirling beside a very uncomfortable Louis. 

“Everything alright?” Harry asked. 

The man widened his eyes and took a step back. “Yeah, I was just—you know telling him that his coat was really pretty!” he says nervously.

Harry faked a smile but as soon he looked down at Louis, it turned real. “Yeah,” h wrapped an arm around Louis’ waist. “my fiancé looks beautiful in everything,” he said, eyes never leaving Louis’ amused ones. “I was actually buying some things for him.” He squeezed Louis' waist as he showed the bag with lingerie.

“ _Oh_ _fuck_ , I’m so sorry, I didn’t know you were engaged,” the man said hurriedly. 

“You really didn’t notice the ring on his necklace?” Harry dead panned as he rolled his eyes at Louis who Harry noticed was trying his best to not laugh.

“ _Shit…”_ he whispered. “No, I really didn’t…”

“I’d say it’s okay but you see, it kinda isn’t. Not because, you know, he’s clearly engaged but because he was uncomfortable. Weren’t you, baby?”

Louis snorted, looking half amused and half exasperated. “After the second time I said no thank you to his coffee, sure I was.”

“You said no _twice_ , petal?” Harry let a discreet but deathly growl.

“ _Fuck_ , _shit_.” The man started to back away. “Listen, it was really not my intention to bother, I’m just a beta, I’m very very sorry, I—please let’s just continue our day, please?” He directed his pleading eyes to Louis who only shrugged.

“Sure, just don’t do that shit again. Come on, Harry, our coffee is already cold, let’s go.” Louis said, grabbing Harry by the arm and dragging him outside the coffeeshop.

“He isn’t sorry,” Harry grunted.

“Who cares, weirdo,” Louis muttered. “Let’s go home, I’m tired.”

“Why am I the weirdo here?” 

“Fiancé, Harry?... _Really_?...” 

“It was the first thing that came to my mind!”

Louis’ eyes softened a bit, he sighed. “Okay, whatever, but you can’t deny that you showing your girlfriend’s panties and telling him they were mine wasn’t weird.”

Harry stopped walking. Louis noticed he wasn’t walking beside him a few seconds later. 

“What’s going on?” Louis said with a hint of worry in his voice. “Harry?...”

“It’s not for her… the things I bought there, I mean. It isn’t for her.” Harry could feel his cheek heat up at the sight of Louis’ confused face. 

“And for who?”

“Whomst…” Harry mumbled.

“I swear to god, Styles…”

“It was for you.” Harry closed his eyes. And wasn’t that ten times weirder? 

“You bought lingerie… for me?” Louis asked breathlessly. Harry just nodded. “But… _why_?”

“Can we talk about this at home?” Harry asked with pleading eyes.

“Yes, of course, but… don’t you have to go to Lisa’s place or something?”

“ _Shit_ , you’re right, fuck… when I come back, can we—can we talk?”

“Yes, we can talk.” Louis held his hand and smiled at him, small and hopeful. 

Harry was almost sure what he had to do.  
  


[☽]

  
  


Lisa’s place was bright and warm. It was only the second or third time Harry was actually inside it but he liked it a lot. 

“I brought you what you asked,” Harry said as he greeted her.

“Really?” Lisa said with excited eyes. “Let me pay you!”

Harry waved her off. “Nah, it’s okay, it’s on me.” 

‘ _It’s the least I could do after what I’m about to do.’ Harry thought._

“None of that! This is actually part of a surprise I have planned for you tomorrow.” Lisa sweetly batted her long eyelashes. 

Harry needed to say something quick.

“Lisa…” Harry began before Lisa held his arm and softly cut him off.

“I know what you’re trying to do. And I’m just asking to give us a chance, for once in your life, give us at least that.” Lisa said with a firm voice and Harry was at a loss of words. “I know what you’re looking for, so let me give you that and if later you decide you still do not want to try to have a relationship with me, I’ll stop trying. Now for real.”

“This is not fair to you.” Harry said softly. “You deserve someone who is sure of their feelings for you, someone you don’t need to prove anything.” 

“Don’t tell me what I need or deserve. It’s condescending. I know what I need, I need the boy who couldn’t help but get closer to me that day at college, like he couldn’t help it. I need and want that.”

“I’m not that boy anymore.” 

“But it’s in you and I know how to get him back.”

Harry sighed and rubbed his eyes. “Alright, but if it doesn’t work, I just want to tell you, you’re fucking amazing and you deserve so much better than this.” 

Harry felt like an asshole. What was happening was only the consequences of his own actions, deep down he knew if he had just stayed away from Lisa none of this would’ve happened. The least he could do is give her a proper closure.

“You’re such a sap, I don’t even know why I like you so much…” Lisa huffed. “Now come, let’s eat something.”

Harry didn’t want to tell Lisa, but no matter what she had prepared, he already knew his answer was going to be ‘no’.”

[☽]

The first thing Harry noticed when he arrived home later that night was that there was no omega scent in the house. But as soon as he reached the kitchen, his mouth watered for several reasons, in front of him was Louis making Harry’s favorite cupcakes wearing the robe Harry gifted him. 

“Hi.” Harry rasped.

Louis wrenched his eyes up from the cupcakes that he was decorating to look at Harry. Buttercream was all over the place, making odd shapes around the cupcakes. “I thought you were going to come a lot later,” he said, trying to fix the decoration on the cupcake for god knows what reason, Harry had never seen cupcakes as beautiful as the ones Louis was making.

Harry’s eyes went from the cupcakes to be fixated on how the silky robe dripped from one of Louis’ shoulders. “I wanted to come home. I needed it,” he said, getting closer to Louis.

“Yeah?”

“Mhm.” Harry felt he was probably about to make a fool of himself, but if there was even a slight possibility of being closer to Louis, Harry was ready to risk it all. “Can I touch it?” 

“Sure.” Louis breathed out.

“It’s so soft,” Harry whispered in awe, slowly running his fingers up Louis’ arm, feeling the soft silky fabric covering his body. “All the house smells so good, you feel so good.”

Louis breathed, licking his lips as his eyes darted down to Harry’s mouth. “I baked some salted caramel cupcakes, I thought you’d like that.”

“Love them,” Harry whispered as he caressed Louis’ neck, mesmerized by the flutter of Louis’ heart against his fingers. “The house smells like home.”

“I made them as a thank you for this and for all the other things you got me today,” Louis said shyly, eyelashes fluttering softly, pink tongue darting out, licking his bottom lip nervously.

Harry didn’t know if he ever fell in love, if his past self had ever felt the need to cherish and shield someone as strongly he felt in that moment with Louis but god, he wished he did because it was the greatest feeling in the world.

“That was very nice of you.” Harry said with a low tone, eyes half lidded, as his finger ran over the exposed _oh-so-fucking-soft_ skin of Louis’ shoulder “Did you like your gifts?”

“Yes,” Louis whispered, tilting his head, silently and _submissively_ giving Harry full access to his neck. “I liked everything.”

“I love when you blush,” Harry said, face getting tentatively close to Louis’ jaw, lips faintly brushing his skin. “I love to see you all flustered and shy. I’ve loved doing that since we were in college, you only did that with me,” he confessed, vision getting blurry by the need to take and take care. To provide, to _please._

Harry’s scent must have been strong and possessive because he instantly felt how Louis tensed under him. “I didn’t know you noticed.” 

“Did I never tell you about that?” Harry asked with genuine curiosity. He knew he wasn’t ashamed about it, not back then, not now, so it was a bit of a surprise knowing he never told Louis. 

A surprise that made him believe he never told Louis how he felt back then.

“You didn’t tell me a lot of stuff apparently.” Louis said with a cold tone, stepping back from Harry’s hold.

“Hey, hey, what's wrong?” Harry frowned and tried to reach Louis again, to pull him closer. 

“I think we should go to sleep.”

“Oh…” The hand that was about to reach Louis dropped to his side. 

“You can tell me how it went with Lisa when I get back from work tomorrow.”

“Actually, I’m going back again to her place tomorrow.”

“Oh…” Louis echoed Harry.

“She just wants to try something.”

Louis closed his eyes and Harry realized how that must have sounded for the other alpha.

“No, not like _that_ ,” Harry said hurriedly. “she just wants to give us a try but—”

“Harry,” Louis interrupted him. “Eat your cupcakes, I ‘m going to bed.”

And without waiting for a response, he left.  
  


[☽]

_Everything is hazy and blurry,_ _Harry’s mate and him were sitting on a bed. Harry was casually massaging his mate’s leg reverently, leaving soft kisses on his knee._

_His mate looked down at him dropping some papers on the bed, Harry’s thin white shirt falling off his shoulder showing bruises from hurried kisses that went from his chest to his neck. “Hungry?” he smirked at Harry._

_“Very.” The alpha replied as he pulled down his mate’s trousers. Mouth watering at the sight of his pink and already leaking cock._

_One instant he was only admiring how prettily his cock was dripping and the other he was pinning his mate down with one hand while he was licking his cock from root to tip. Harry was messy about it, drooling freely and not even trying to keep appearances. He was hungry and was going to eat his mate whole._

_Harry knew how much his mate loved to feel helpless and vulnerable so he put a bit more pressure in the hand around his neck being really careful to not cut his air supply._

_“Alpha.” He breathed out and Harry almost went feral at the sound._

_Harry’s mate spread his legs as he slipped one single digit carefully, the entrance felt tight but slightly wet. And Harry knew it was something important, that his mate was only able to do that with him, for him._

_He could only get wet for Harry._

_The slick started to flow as Harry worked his way in, the sound his mate was making had Harry growling softly, pulse skyrocketing and heat pooling in his pelvis._

_His mate spread his legs wider and arched his back, offering himself to his alpha, he was rewarded by Harry with a third finger and a deeper growl. “Mine. You’re so perfect and all mine.”_

_Harry’s fingers moved deeper, harder and faster inside him as he moaned loud and unashamedly. His nails dug into Harry’s shoulders as his cock spurted come all over his soft belly. Harry gave a few laps to the wet belly before hovering over his mate, searching for his eyes. They were wet and sparkling, pride swelling inside Harry’s chest._

_He did that._

_In a matter of seconds and without hesitation, the hand of his mate was on Harry’s thick cock. “Fuck, baby, your hands feels perfect around me.” He grunted close to his mate’s ear._

_Harry’s hand ran through the come covered belly before covering the small hand stroking his cock._

_“I don’t fucking know how something so big can fit inside of me,” his mate breathed out._

_Grunting, Harry moved his hand, now covered in both his mate’s come and Harry’s pre-come mixed and slipped two fingers inside of his still wet entrance. He felt his mate writhe with pleasure as he welcomed his long finger inside of him yet again, as if they belonged there, as if Harry belonged to him._

_Harry’s cock throbbed at the idea, ribbons of come coating his mate’s body as his knot swelled, thick and big while every single drop of come was milked out of him._

_After they both calmed down, Harry reached between their bodies and began to rub his come into his mate’s skin. His mate was blushing but allowed Harry to mark him with his scent, from his stomach to his chest, hips and balls. It was something extremely personal but they did that all the time and his mate loved to smell like Harry even after cleaning each other._

_Harry took his time looking at his mate and marveled at his beauty. Sun kissed skin, galaxies on his cheeks, delicate lips, eyes so blue it seemed eternal. He could do so much better than him, yet he chose Harry and Harry, as selfish as he was, would never let him go._

_“You’re the_ _prettiest and softest flower in the world,” Harry softly kissed the tip of his mate's nose. “My pretty Louis…”_

Harry woke up abruptly, sweating and achingly hard. 

_What the hell was that?_

Was he so desperate and gone for Louis that he was even fantasizing about him being his literal mate? The thing was, everything felt _so_ goddamn real, even the slick part that Harry was almost sure it was impossible for alphas to produce.

_Was it?_

Checking his clock, he noticed he was too late to catch Louis before his work and was also late for his own. He rapidly changed, feeling still a bit unsettled and nostalgic about his dream.

“Why are you smelling like a Sylvia Plath‘s poem?” Was the first thing Mitch asked him as soon as Harry entered his lab.

“Can alphas produce slick?”

Mitch sighed and twisted his neck from side to side as he massaged his shoulder. “What’s my name?”

“Mitch.” Harry blinked at him before replying flatly, already knowing what was coming.

“And what do I do?” Mitch rotated his chair so he was now facing Harry.

“Fix computers.”

“You know what I’m not?” Harry mumbled his reply. “What?” Mitch asked as he put his hand around his ear. “I didn’t hear.”

“Google,” Harry half yelled. “You aren’t google.”

“Fantastic assumption. Now, why are _you,_ an alpha, asking _me_ , a clueless and virginal beta, if alphas can produce slick?”

“So _you_ can call yourself a virgin but when _I_ said so—”

“Focus Harry.” Mitch pinched the bridge of his nose.

“Fine, I dreamt something and it felt oddly real and I didn’t have time to look it up because as soon as I woke up I came here.”

“It is possible.”

“What? Didn’t you say you didn’t kn—”

“While you were babbling your nonsense I searched it up,” Mitch showed the screen of his phone to Harry. ”24 million results. Very popular topic among you guys, apparently.”

“What does it say?”

“Turns out, alphas can actually produce slick if stimulated properly and continually but only can do so with their mates or pre-bonded mates, otherwise the prep is the same as betas, lube and all that jazz.”

“How did I know about that before _I knew_.”

Mitch shrugged. “Taking in mind you lost a good amount of your memories and you're head over heels for your very _alpha_ best friend, you don't have to be a genius to put two and two together.”

“Do you think I was in love with him before this?”

“I don’t really know and I don’t think what I think really matters in this particular case. Are you in love with him now?”

“Yes.” Harry replied fast and vehemently.

“Then there’s the only answer you need to care about. Stop thinking about what old you wanted or knew, focus on your present and yourself.”

“I don’t want to go to Lisa’s later.”

“Then don’t go.” Mitch said unhelpfully.

“You don’t even know why I am going.”

“But you don’t want to and you shouldn’t force yourself to do stuff you’re not comfortable with. Be practical.”

Harry shook his head, he wished things were as simple and practical as Mitch presented them. “But I _do_ want to end things properly, that’s my responsibility and the least I can do for her.”

“Then do it. You do whatever you need to do.”

[☽]

The first thing Harry noticed as soon he entered Lisa's house was the sweet smell of vanilla and strawberry. Harry frowned not really knowing what to think about it.

“You’re early! I don't have anything ready.” Lisa said a bit nervously with a flushed face, before hugging Harry, presenting her neck for him.

“Umm.. Lis?” Harry said hesitantly, shuffling his position a bit uncomfortable. “What are you doing?” 

“Well—I… Don’t you like it?” she asked expectantly.

“What?”

“My scent?”

“Oh yeah.. it’s nice?” Harry replied confused, still not knowing what was going on.

“Just nice?” Lisa asked flatly. 

“I mean, it’s very nice? Lisa, I don’t know what you want me to say.”

“This is the scent I was using all those years back.”

Harry frowned. “No it wasn’t?” He knew that scent as much as he knew his own, the one Lisa was wearing was nice, with a hint of familiarity but it wasn’t _her_ scent.

Not that it mattered anymore. 

“Okay maybe it wasn’t this exact scent but it was close to it, right?”

Harry made a face. “Close? I mean… yeah?”

“Oh okay, we can find something similar now that you—”

“Something similar?” Harry interrupted the omega. “Lisa, what are you talking about?”

“The scent, I really didn't remember what exactly it was, I just remembered it was a berry with something sweet. It was really strong too. It was so long ago and I only used it for around a year.”

And _what the actual hell??_

“ _Used_? That wasn’t your scent?”

“No? Back in college there was an organisation where alphas—”

“Donated their scents to omegas.” Harry dumbly completed her. “Trackless, I—I remember… Were you using an alpha’s scent?”

“Are you going to judge me because of that?” Lisa crossed her arms. 

“No, _god_ , no, I just… I always thought it was your scent, I dreamed about that scent.”

“You dreamed about me using it?”

“No, it was just the scent, the rest was always blurry,” Harry replied a bit ruefully. 

“Oh… So you only got close to me because of that, right?”

“I thought you and I were something,” Harry casted his eyes down shamefully. “that we were together, in love, that’s why I got close to you.”

“Would you believe me if I tell you that we were?”

Harry shrugged apologetically. “It doesn’t really matter now. I… fuck I practiced this speech way too many times. I fell in love with someone else.”

“How do you know you’re in love? What would happen if the person with the scent showed up in your life again? Would you dump the person you're in love now for them?”

“I don’t care about the scent. Sure it’s nice to remember but it doesn’t really compare with what I feel now.”

“What if I help you to find the scent?”

“Lisa that’s—”

“No, think about it, we can look for them, your frat was the only one working with Trackless, that means you probably know the owner of the scent because you lived with them.”

Harry’ felt suddenly dizzy when flashes of colors invaded his view. He knew the owner of the scent, Harry _knew him._ Because the owner was a he and Harry—fuck Harry needed to get out of that apartment. He needed to get back home.

“I have to go.”

“Harry wait—” Lisa held Harry’s wrist, sad look on her face. “If the person you fell in love with is who I think _he_ is, it is never going to work.”

“Lisa…”

“He’s an alpha, Harry, your instincts will clash, he can’t give you what you need nor you can give him what he needs.”

“It’s not like that.”

“You don’t have to lie to me, I know it’s him, Harry, I’m not telling you this because I want you with me but because I worry for you.”

“Lisa, it’s not like that.” Harry repeated, because it wasn’t, with Louis it was never like that. Soft and loving Louis, who loved to be showered in Harry’s love, gifts and scent— _especially_ in his scent. Who made Harry laugh and feel safe with just a few words and a smile. 

Louis was what Harry wanted, what Harry needed and even if he read everything all wrong and Louis didn’t feel the same way about him, if he just wanted to be his friend, Harry was going to take anything Louis wanted to give him. 

Harry felt the buzzing inside his head increase as memories of his family and friends rapidly attacked his mind. “Lis, I’m really sorry, I just have to go.”

[☽]

Harry opted for an Uber instead of driving, his mind was too occupied spinning and his hands were shaking. The flashes of different memories hadn’t stopped since he left Lisa’s house.

It all came rushing back to Harry.

Soft looking hair, electric baby blue eyes full of warmth and energy. The scent of ripe wild berries and burnt caramel wrapping Harry. He licked a tear falling down a rosy cheek, taste buds exploding with pure bliss.

_Louis, Louis, Louis._

_“I think you have something on your face?”_

_“My face?”_

_“Yeah, on your cheek.”_

_Louis hummed as he kept eating his passion fruit. “Wanna lick it off to see what it is?” He looked at Harry with big innocent eyes. Harry had to bite back a growl._

_“What... Louis are you...” Harry trailed off, not wanting to assume anything._

_Louis lifted his shoulder in a bashful small shrug “We are young and you’re already looking at me as if you want to eat me. Let’s have a bit of fun then.”_

_Harry closed his eyes as Louis cradled his lap. “My instincts—I’m very dominating and you—”_

_“Fuck are you trying to scare me or turn me on?” Louis whispered close to his ear._

_“Louis,” Harry let out a guttural growl, deep and possessive as his hands gripped Louis’ hips. “Would you want that?”_

_“I’ve been having this dream where you knot my mouth and feed me with your come, then fill my ass up. We sit together for hours and you lick me clean ‘cause that’s what good alphas d—”_

_Louis couldn't finish before Harry was pulling him closer by his ass, mouth desperately seeking for Louis’. All caution flew out the window after that. If Louis’ alpha was going to rip his throat, at least Harry was going to die happy._

_“This belongs to the person you like, right?” Louis whispered, pulling the necklace with the ring inside Harry’ shirt._

_“Yeah,” Harry said as he bit Louis’ jawline, leaving marks all over his neck._

_Louis whimpered, “Now it belongs to me.” He said as he pulled the necklace before kissing the ring. It wasn’t a question but a statement and Harry was ready to please._

_“Whatever you want, princess.”_

He was going to propose, the afternoon the crash happened, Harry went out to buy a ring for Louis, they were going to marry. 

Harry never dated Lisa, not even when Liam set him up with her after they found out Louis was finally dating someone else. 

Harry was the alpha Louis was trying to get over, Louis defended Harry even from himself. 

Louis was ready to let him go.

“Didn’t anyone teach you staring was impolite?” Louis asked as he made stuffed potatoes wearing a baby blue apron that was making Harry’s mouth water and chest rumble with want.

Harry shook his head. _‘Focus, Harry. You need answers.’_

“Maybe my mate did it in those years I lost but seeing he fucking didn’t claim me back when I lost my memory.” Harry grunted as Louis’ head snapped at him.

“What the fuck?” Louis said with big and confused eyes.

“That’s the exact same question I’m asking myself… _what the fuck??_ ” 

“Harry what are you talking about?”

“That you’re my mate and you didn’t fucking tell me.” Harry said, hurt bleeding through his words.

Louis sighed, looking as sad as Harry feels. “Harry no, we—we aren’t mates.”

“The hell we aren’t.” Harry fought stubbornly and desperately. He knew what he felt, what he remembered. 

“No Harry, we _were_ a couple but uhm... we broke up.” 

Suddenly, Harry realized what was happening, Louis probably thought Harry didn’t remember him, that he was making everything up. He needed to fix that as soon as possible.

“You left for your internship,” Harry whispered as he cautiously got closer to Louis. “We broke up because I didn’t want you to be tied to me and you probably thought the same because you’re a selfless bastard who thinks that to love is not to possess or something like that.” He let out a wet chuckle as he saw Louis’ face morph from sorrow to hope, as tears gathered in his eyes. “I loved you every single minute of those years. It broke me when I found out you were dating someone else even after a year of us being separated. I felt like shit for feeling happy when I found out it didn’t work out. I fell in love again the day you came back and I fell again when I couldn't remember I loved you in the first place. I remember you, I remember us,” he says, hands reverently holding Louis’ face. 

_‘You’re mine’_

“Harry,” Louis sobbed as he hugged Harry fiercely, arms clinging to his neck for dear life. They stood there embracing each other for what it felt like an eternity. “I thought I lost you.”

“ _Baby,”_ Harry whispered close to Louis’ ear, “the thrumming of my blood is _always_ calling your name, I’ll always find you no matter the circumstance., You’re it for me in every single life, even the ones it seems we don’t belong to each other.” 

The alpha could feel how Louis was gently trembling against him as he let out another breath. Fingers reaching out and gripping Louis’ hips even closer to him. 

Nosing against Louis’ neck, Harry’s mouth watered with the need of bite, to claim, he growled with pleasure as Louis lolled his head to the side, giving Harry complete access to him, _submitting_ to him. Louis let his alpha lick the sensitive skin of his throat, he let him get a deeper breath of what was _his_. 

Louis tangled his fingers into Harry’s hair and wrapped his legs around Harry, mouths meeting in a desperate kiss. 

“You know what else, I remember?” Harry smirks against Louis’ mouth. “How much your needy hole loves my knot,” he breathed out as his hands moved from his hips to spread his still clothed ass. “How much your body can stretch for me. _Only_ for me.” 

“ _Alpha_ ,” Louis whimpered as he tilted his head, offering his neck to Harry. “Take me to your room.”

“ _Our_ room,” Because that was the reason why Louis’ room was so empty in the first place, because it wasn’t _his_. Harry grunted before licking Louis’ neck, teeth grazing the sensitive skin, feeling his boy shiver against him. 

“Ours,” Louis breathed back, pulling Harry for another kiss as they stumbled back to their bedroom.

Harry was struggling in letting Louis go after they laid on the bed but he needed both their clothes off, he needed to feel all of Louis against his skin.

“I’m gonna be tight,” Louis whispered shyly. 

Harry gazed down at a now naked Louis, honey skin, long legs, looking bordering on sinful, his dick couldn’t help but twitch at the news and the sight as a soft rumble rolled in his chest. 

“You seem pleased by that,” Louis said with sparkling eyes. Harry was head over heels for him.

He knew it wasn’t magic, that Louis wasn’t going to produce enough slick for being their first time in a long time, that he was going to have to open his boy up. 

“I’m gonna make you all mine again,” Harry said as he opened the drawer beside his bed and pulled a bottle of lube. “Roll over, baby.” Harry growled with a rough voice.

Pleased by his mate doing what he was told and marveled by the view, Harry began to press feathery kisses all over Louis’ ass, licking lightly on the freckle close to his entrance, leaving tiny bites around it.

“Are you letting me breed you tonight, doll?” Harry mouthed against Louis’ skin as his hands spread his cheeks. 

Louis whimpered, arching his back, ring clenching at nothing, ready to grind himself onto Harry’s face, desperate to be filled with any part of him. “I want you to fill me up, claim me, I want to be full of you.”

Harry growled, tongue pushing against Louis’ entrance, instantly feeling how the muscles fluttered open and tightened against the tip of his tongue. He gently began to fuck his mate, waiting for his tiny mewls to bleed into sobs, he thrust his tongue in a few more times until he tasted something sweet and spicy, nose flaring as Louis moaned and pushed himself back against Harry’s tongue. 

Harry knew it wasn’t magic but as the sweet scent of caramel hit his taste buds, it felt very close to it. He spreaded Louis’ cheeks wider as his thrusts became sloppier and hungrier, he wanted to devour Louis whole.

“Harry, _please_ , I need you,” Louis sobbed against the mattress, a sob that quickly melted into a moan as soon as he felt the cold lube drip down between his ass.

“You will be leaking for days after tonight,” Harry whispered, one hand spreading Louis’ cheeks to have a better view of his slicked finger pressing against his rim, slowly dragging it as deep as he could. 

“ _More,_ I need more, _alpha,_ please.” Louis’ muscles tensed around Harry’s finger.

Not wasting any time Harry added a second finger, pulling a moan from Louis’ lips, he gradually increased the depth of his fingers, hungry eyes drinking in the sight of his mate’s body slowly adjusting to him. It was mesmerizing. 

_Louis_ was mesmerizing.

“I want your cock, I need to feel you inside me _now_ ,” Louis said, voice already wrecked.

“Doll, I plan to knot you tonight, so I’m gonna need that tight little hole of yours to be as wide as it can be,” Harry said adding a third finger before Louis could protest.

“ _Fuck._ ” Louis hissed as wet sounds filled the room. “Alpha, unless you’re planning to fucking fist me tonight, I doubt I’d ever be wide enough for your knot. I need you _now.”_

A loud smack on the meatier part of his ass made Louis whimper in pleasure. “Aren’t you a bratty little thing?” Harry purred into his ear to then abruptly pull out his fingers from Louis, as he dropped down onto the bed, back against the headboard. 

“ _Harry_ , wha—” Louis slurred, confused with dazed eyes and flushed skin. 

Just one look and Harry's cock throbbed and felt heavy against his stomach, pre-come dripping down it.

“Come here,” Harry ordered patting his thigh. Louis crawled up the bed, still on hands and knees until he was sitting on Harry’s lap, cocks flush against each other. “Open your mouth, I want you to taste yourself.” He smeared two of his slicked fingers against Louis’ soft lips, before pushing them inside his mouth. “Don’t you look pretty with your slick as gloss?” Louis fluttered his eyes as he sucked his fingers clean. “Do you like how you taste?” Harry cooed, kissing Louis’ nose. “Is it that or do you just like to suck anything I give you?” Louis moaned as he nodded eagerly. Harry hummed and pulled out his fingers. “This is all so good but, I have a bit of a problem,” Harry said with fake concern as his hand ran his spit wet fingers through Louis’ hair. “My princess is being a brat and thinks he can easily fit my whole cock and knot inside of him with the minimum of prep, what do you think I should do?”

Louis blinked eyes filled with lust as he bit his bottom lip. “I—“

“Do you think I should let him try?” Harry said finger playing with the beads of pre-come on the top of Louis’ cock.

“Yes _please._ ” 

“But I’d hate if my princess got hurt,” He fake pouted but moved his hands to Louis’ hips.

“I _promise_ alpha, I’ll be careful, I’ll be good,” Louis said eagerly and a bit desperate as he let sloppy kisses all over Harry’s neck.

“I know you will be good, you’re _always_ good,” Harry replies fervently, act dropping for a moment, he couldn’t let Louis feel anything less than what he was for Harry. “My perfect princess,” he whispered as he moved Louis’ head to a slow kiss. “Ride me then, I want you to use my cock for your own pleasure.” 

“Alpha,” Louis said, choked up with teary eyes. “ _thank you.”_ He moved to put one hand on Harry’s shoulder as he leaned forward so his other shaky hand could align Harry’s cock against his rim. 

“You still need to go slow, baby, okay? I don’t want to hurt you.” Harry said honestly as his thumb rubbed Louis’ hip bones.

Louis smiled soft and big and Harry had the sudden need to be inside of his mate as soon as possible. 

“Don’t worry, I’ve ridden you way too many times, I know what I’m doing.” Louis closed his eyes and parted his lips as he slowly impaled himself on Harry’s big cock until he was fully seated on his lap. “ _God_ ,” he broke the silence with a sob. “all these months I thought my fingers were keeping me full, but, I've been _so_ _empty.”_

Harry could feel the muscles twitching around him as his thick cock stretched Louis open. They stayed like that for a few seconds, just looking at each other with absolute adoration in their eyes, connected for the first time in a very long time. 

“Next time I lose my memory, I want you to bring all my memories like this,” Harry said before biting Louis’ jaw.

Louis clenched his ass, _hard_ , making Harry hiss with pain _and_ pleasure. “Dickhead, don’t _ever_ say that.” 

“Ow,” Harry said between laughs, making Louis moan in the process. “I’m sorry but you can’t deny your ass is pretty fucking magical.”

“You’re not only being annoying but cheesy right now,” Louis said as he smiled against Harry’s sweat damp temple.

“I really fucking love you,” Harry whispered as he squeezed Louis’ hips. 

“I really fucking love you too,” Louis whispered back looking at Harry with lust filled eyes before he began to ride him slowly, rolling his hips, finding his rhythm.

Something shifted in the air, it wasn’t only the scent of their sex or Harry’s arousal, something tangy-sweet and heady filled Harry’s nostril, making his alpha go almost feral with the scent. 

It was caramel and wild berries.

“Baby,” Harry grunted through gritted teeth, thighs almost shaking with the need to push up, arms twitching with the need to pull his mate down. Dick throbbing with the need to _breed_. “Are you using your neutralizers?”

“ _Shit, I—_ do you want to stop?” Louis said small and needy as he kept lifting himself up and dropping down again and again. 

“Doll, just answer my question,” Harry’s hips began to move up to meet Louis.

“I— _fuck, yes—_ I stopped taking them yesterday,” Louis gasped as Harry’s big hands start to roam all over his body. “I had to take one in the afternoon but you treated me so nice— _shit, like that, keep going—_ like your _mate_ and I—”

“You _are_ my mate,” Harry growled as he snapped his hips frantically against Louis’ ass, pulling him down by his hips. “My alpha and body _knew_ it was you, I— _fuck,_ baby you smell fucking incredible, so fucking _ripe_ , ready to breed full.”

Louis let out a loud sob, Harry could smell now his desire, his need, Harry was so gone for his boy.

Harry felt his knot begin to swell. “ _Fuck,_ I’m gonna knot you,” Harry hips moved faster with erratic movements. “I'm gonna fill you up so good, everyone will know you’re only mine, you will smell like mine, _always_.”

“ _Yes,_ please, alpha,” Louis sobbed again, hips pushing toward Harry as his knot grew inside of him. “I want you, I want to look full,” Louis said, touching his belly. 

Harry let out a wild growl as images of Louis with a round and big belly attacked his mind. Pregnant with _his_ babies. “Can you feel how big my knot is? All my come will stay deep inside you, you will not only look full, you _will_ be full.”

“Yes, alpha, _my alpha._ ” Louis mewled on top of him, nails digging his back as he comes untouched all over his and Harry’s stomach, pressing his face against Harry’s neck before bluntly biting centimeters close to where his mating bite should be.

“Fuck yes, _mark me_ , mark me as much as you want, I’m all _yours,_ and you’re all _mine_ ,” Harry said, licking at the few drops of sweat gathered on Louis' neck before biting him, teeth piercing his mate skin. He couldn’t wait to marry his boy and officially give him a mating bite. “M’ gonna make your tummy swell up with my seed. Gonna give you a family.” The idea of marrying Louis, of having a family with him shouldn’t be as arousing as it was but just the idea of a life with the love of his life had him grunting and coming inside of Louis with his cockhead being pushed up tightly against the deepest reaches of his petite body. 

Harry pushed harder into Louis, forcing his knot to go deeper so he couldn't pull out any more, letting it swell to its full girth inside his mate. Louis for his part was whimpering as the muscles of his tight hole kept on milking his Alpha's cock. He nuzzled and sniffed Louis’ bare and freshly marked throat. 

Louis moaned, soft cock twitching interested, probably acknowledging how his alpha was heavily scent marking him. He looked blissfully sedated and completely fucked out. 

He looked as pleased and satisfied as a kitten after a dish of cream.

Harry laid back on the bed and carefully pulled Louis on top of him. Louis nuzzled his neck as a soft purr came from his chest. They stayed like that for a few minutes, drifting in and out of sleep until Harry’s knot went down.

As soon as Harry pulled out, he rolled Louis over and went down to his soft belly, fingers splayed in the mess of Louis’ abdomen. He felt Louis giggle as Harry rubbed his big hand over his come covered tummy, smearing all of it on Louis. He felt Louis’ fingers caressing softly the back of his head as Harry leaned forward and pressed his nose in his wet stomatch, intoxicated with the scent of his mate’s release. 

“Hey… I don’t want to break the moment, but uhm… we need to talk,” Louis rasped out and Harry shivered by how wrecked his voice still sounded. 

“About?” Harry asked distractedly as he began to leave tiny bites all over Louis’ tummy and one of his hands moved to his entrances, not before collecting the come that had already dripped down from his mate’s hole only so he could fill him up again.

Louis hissed but spread his legs for Harry. “Lisa.”

While Harry was a pretty laid back person, his alpha wasn’t only dominant but possessive, even more right after he knotted Louis. It was all instinct. So Louis couldn’t exactly blame him when a loud growl came from him at the sound of any other name who wasn’t Louis’ or his own in their room, _their nest_. 

Louis’ snort bled into a whimper when Harry added a second finger inside of him. “You can growl as much as you want but we _need_ to talk about her, if not now, later.”

Harry’s chest was still rumbling but even in his foggy mind, he knew Louis was right. “What about her?”he pouted.

Louis huffed as he ran his fingers through Harry’s hair. “You said you were in love with her.”

Harry froze. “Oh…” Fuck, he did say he was in love with her, he told that to his _own_ fucking mate. He could’ve lost Louis because his stupid brain wasn’t wiring things correctly, he could’ve lost _everything_. Waves of distress came out from him, he felt them coming and couldn’t do anything to stop them.

Louis moved under him as a calming scent washed over him. “Hey, love, no, look at me,” He gently whispered as he tenderly grabbed Harry’s face with both hands. “I know you aren’t in love with her, I know, I just need to understand some things.”

“Okay but I’m not pulling out, I need to be inside of you, I…” Harry said lamely, face and ears burning as his fingers keep pumping softly in and out his mate. 

Louis snorted again but his eyes were soft and full of love. “Alright, I wasn’t thinking of stopping you.” 

Harry’s alpha was useless and was embarrassing Harry in front of his mate, but Louis was lovely and didn’t make fun of him, he just realized waves of happy scent and Harry was so so gone. “I said that because that was what I thought, I had flashes of images and the scent was there, always there. But it wasn’t her scent. I related it to her because she used to use it in college.”

Louis frowned, confused, letting Harry’s face go. “The scent?”

“Mhm…” Harry said as he buried his face against Louis’ chest, leaving small kisses all over it. He had the loveliest mate. The _prettiest. “_ She was part of the Trackless program. The first time I met her, she was using an A scent, it wasn’t hers, it was never hers.”

“It came from our frat… do you know who they are? Do you want to find them?” Louis tensed again, scent shifting from blissfully happy to something different, the wild berries turning tangier, making Harry’s mouth water, the caramel was still there but the tones were bitter, the room smelled delicious, like mocha-caramel coffee and unripe berries. Harry’s alpha purred and Harry wanted to slap the whipped asshole. Louis was in distress and he was just way too focused on how good their scents mixed together even when Louis was worried.

Harry echoing Louis, sent a wave of calming scent, all sweet chocolate and freshly roasted coffee. “What’s my favorite cupcake, baby?”

“Harry, don’t change the topic, do you know who they’re?”

“Baby,” Harry said, finally pulling out from Louis, so he could focus all his attention on his boy. “Just answer my question, what’s my favorite cupcake?” He kissed his nose before nuzzling his neck, licking and breathing in the sweet smell of Louis calming down. “The one I always obsess over and could eat a thousand of them in a week just because I want the whole house to smell like that.”

Louis’ eyes went incredibly wide and the scent shifted again, sweet and Louis. “Me?” He whispered, expression soft and happy.

“Yeah,” Harry whispered back, a small smile curling on the edge of his lips. “you're my favorite cupcake,” he continued as the smile bloomed into a big grin, corners of his eyes crinkling happily. 

Louis let out a teary laugh. “You’re such an asshole.” He lightly pushed Harry’s shoulder. “Ugh, stop looking so smug.”

“Why?” Harry asked “I got my mate back, I got you back.”

“We still aren’t mates.”

“But we _are_. Sure, we still need to make it official, laws and all, but I was yours since the moment you judged my drinking skills in that frat party.”

“I wasn’t judging you, I thought you were cute.”

“See? Meant to be, any other person would’ve run from me, you stayed.”

“You stayed too.”

“Forever.” Harry softly kissed Louis’ lips. “Even when I didn’t remember your scent, even when I thought it wasn’t yours, I fell in love with you, I’d have preferred to live without that scent than to live without you,” he said honestly, heart aching with how much he felt for Louis. “I love you so much.”

[᯽]

The next time Harry bought a ring for Louis, the only thing he lost was one of the air balloons he bought for him. The proposal was cheesy and over the top, Louis teared up all night but Harry was there to clean him every single time. 

Louis didn’t expect the proposal. The reunion was made to deliver other news, but after a year of Harry being fully recovered, of sharing his life with the love of his life and the amount of planning he put in on that particular gathering, he thought it was the right time to finally pop the question.

It was the perfect night with all the people they loved seated on their big table, ready to dig into the food Louis and he made for them. 

“What’s up with all this tiny food?” Niall snorted. “Baby ribs, baby carrots, baby corn—”

A ding came from the kitchen, “It must be the oven,” Louis said smiling as he got up.

Harry saw how realizations began to hit on each one of their parents. His mother gasped softly as Louis’ mom covered her mouth as tears began to fill her eyes.

“Does anyone want buns? They just came out of the oven.” Louis’ smile was big and proud, and right in that moment, Harry fell in love with his boy all over again.

His dad laughed and clapped his hands cheerfully as both of their moms got up to hug Louis and gush over him. Harry held the bun tray as he watched how the rest of the room—sans Zayn and Mitch—looked in different states of confusion.

“Louis is pregnant.” Harry announced with a watery smile as the room exploded in cheers and congratulations.

It was indeed the perfect night.

“You’re going to be such a great parent,” Harry’s dad told Louis at the end of the party. “My wife handled her pregnancy a lot better than I did, maybe it’s an alpha thing.”

Harry’s mom laughed lightly. “I don’t think it was because I’m an alpha, dear. I just was more cautious, I also read way more, back then it wasn’t as common for alphas to get pregnant, there wasn’t a lot of information on it, so I took all the precautions needed. We can investigate together, I can help you with anything you need.” she said, squeezing Louis’ hand.

“I’d love that, I’d love any advice from any of you.” Louis said earnestly to their parents as he nuzzled into Harry’s shoulder.

Harry’s chest happily rumbled against his mate, his now _very pregnant_ , mate, satisfied by how calm and content he smelled. 

They fought for what they had, Harry thought later that night as they were laid on their nest, in a room filled with their pictures, books and trinkets. They fought against stereotypes, science and statistics. And if it was necessary, Harry would continue fighting for Louis until his last day, because love was like a flower and Harry was ready to give Louis the exact treatment he deserved. To love him for the rest of his life.

Harry kissed the top of Louis’ sleepy head as one hand stroked his naked back and the other softly caressed his tummy.

“Anything for my perfect orchid.” 

  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> if you are here and read the entire thing, thank you so so much, it means THE WORLD to me. if you want, you can come and say “Hi!” [ here](https://twitter.com/outropeace), send me a cc about how you felt about the fic [ here](https://curiouscat.me/outropeace) or send me an ask on [ Tumblr](https://outropeace.tumblr.com)!


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